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  #61  
Old 05-05-2010, 08:29 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
It is not so messy as you think. That would be a "Z" or "N" for two couples with one person in each being involved together. I don't think it describes which are "primary" and which are "secondary" relationships though.
Fair enough...its not overly messy, when I program I visualize the end program, which I sometimes wish could just appear. Drawing it would be a very quick and easy way to explain ...

I was simply thinking drawing two V's with connecting legs

W...

haha...shit I just thought of a W...man I need my second coffee, I must be bored.
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  #62  
Old 05-05-2010, 08:51 PM
lovemaggy lovemaggy is offline
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Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
wow...no I was being serious...and sarcastic (serious sarcasm )...sometimes drawing these relationship structures out is easier than trying to explain them (like flow charts). I was going to write out an example of what I meant by 2 couples and one person in each being each others secondaries...its just so messy to write...

sorry for the misunderstanding...and sorry some poly people haven't been nice. If anything poly people have been exceptional in my fairly new experience. The ones I have encountered are awesome. This site has a lot of great people to help bounce stuff off of

ooh...that drawing sounds fabulous!! i'm a total visual learner for sure.

sorry i misunderstood you


i am also, obviously, very new at this....however i have had friends who are polyamorous for a little over 6 years....and i AM friends with one of the odd ones who doesw not ever wish to be someone's primary....he is the only guy i would ever want to have a secondary relationship with....
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  #63  
Old 05-05-2010, 10:02 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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To answer your question from way back, your partner and new girlfriend would be "metamours" to each other.

I know there are a lot of definitions, but they can be useful in describing relationships. In times when a picture can't be drawn

I suggest doing a search (in the tool bar) using key words that you want to know more about. I don't go to "golden nuggets" actually. If ever I get time I'm going to put some threads on there that I am always looking for. I tag helpful threads more.

I have something in common with you LM, I'm dating a married woman and am married myself. I have a boyfriend too, Mono. Anyway, if I can help in anyway, please ask me

By the way, just because your partner *allows* you to be poly doesn't mean you need to be. Its your choice and there is no rush. It could be something to keep in mind, but not pursue right now.
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  #64  
Old 05-05-2010, 11:11 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariakas View Post
Fair enough...its not overly messy, when I program I visualize the end program, which I sometimes wish could just appear. Drawing it would be a very quick and easy way to explain ...

I was simply thinking drawing two V's with connecting legs

W...

haha...shit I just thought of a W...man I need my second coffee, I must be bored.
But a "W" has five points, not four. I thought we were talking about 2 pairs of people (2+2 = 4 not 5 unless you are in the novel "1984").Each person is a point, not a line, otherwise a "vee" would have 3 lines.

I agree, you must be pretty bored.
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  #65  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:06 AM
lovemaggy lovemaggy is offline
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Originally Posted by redpepper View Post

I have something in common with you LM, I'm dating a married woman and am married myself. I have a boyfriend too, Mono. Anyway, if I can help in anyway, please ask me

By the way, just because your partner *allows* you to be poly doesn't mean you need to be. Its your choice and there is no rush. It could be something to keep in mind, but not pursue right now.

well i am definitely not rushing anything.....what seemed to have prompted hm to even suggest it was how i interacted with one of my friends..and he has known since 4 and half years ago when we started seeing one another that i am bi...i have always been open about that. but even though he is ok with it doesn't mean i am going to even ever act on it.....i just really want to know more about it before jumping into things....i mainly want to be more assured that me having a relationship with another woman won't tear me and my primary partner apart..as he is the most important to me.

over all i DO think that one day i would like to possibly have an intimate relationship with another woman..but i will want to have known her for awhile and have really connected before making anything too serious.

i will be sure to keep you in mind for any questions i come up with redpepper thanks for your help!
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  #66  
Old 05-06-2010, 12:37 AM
lovemaggy lovemaggy is offline
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redpepper..i sent you a PM...in fact..i may have sent it twice....or it may have not sent at all.....i have no idea!

talk to you soon, hopefully
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  #67  
Old 05-06-2010, 01:18 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Originally Posted by lovemaggy View Post
redpepper..i sent you a PM...in fact..i may have sent it twice....or it may have not sent at all.....i have no idea!

talk to you soon, hopefully
heh it sent. i know, I did the same thing when I was first on here... I wasn't sure they send or not!
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  #68  
Old 05-06-2010, 02:26 AM
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rpcrazy rpcrazy is offline
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I'm no expert, but here are a few suggestions.

Okcupid like the above posters have mentioned. It's prety good, but like all dating sites, it's kinda meh...

Groups. Meetup.com, tribe.net, etc. There are alot of group websites, some group websites specifically tied to your state or city (or county sometimes), so you may want to try a search for those and look for groups in your area.

REAL LIFE! If you're open about your polyamorous nature (you rebel, you!), you'll eventually meet people who like or share your way of life. This option is only for the mature and/or evolved because it takes alot of faith/courage to be yourself in the big world.

Events. This is realistically going to be your best untapped resource of like-minded people. Events where like-minded, open & liberal people collect, are your best bet to find people who are in all different types of lifestyles, and you don't have to feel inhibited or quiet at most of them because everyone is usually there for the same reason. This and groups are going to be your major connection sources. Examples would be, CES, Anime Conventions, Burning Man, Raves, Gaming conventions.

One very important thing to do is be honest about yourself. I'm in a...difficult relationship right now. But If were like you and many other who are single/single-ish and are looking to meet people, I would BRING UP THE WORD POLY THE FIRST CHANCE I GOT. It whole-handedly makes them you you're into it, AND let's you know 1. they're not into it, 2. they're single and want to know about it, 3. they're into it!!! YAY, let's go clogging together! lol.

Anyway, good luck and have fun


-gabe
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  #69  
Old 05-06-2010, 03:50 PM
punkrockmomma punkrockmomma is offline
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I'm kind of at a loss myself actually for the meeting people thingy.

I'm the odd one out for a lot of things....I don't fare well in the queer community most of the time despite being open and out about myself. The people I've dated don't often like my enormous ties to the straight community and really I have nothing in common with them.

I'm not into "burning" nor am I a pagan, I do like geeks and nerds so comics books and gaming is fine by me...but I listen to psychobilly, old punk and oi and often travel to see bands, I'm a single momma which it seems so many just don't get, a total cheeky smart ass...good maude I could go on. It's kinda frustrating!
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  #70  
Old 05-06-2010, 08:14 PM
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rpcrazy rpcrazy is offline
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The comic book and gaming avenue is huge enough to where you shouldn't, or won't, have a problem if you make it a routine to frequent your comic-based and gaming-based events and meetings around town and your area.
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approaching someone, asking people out, dating, finding someone, first time, flirting, married and dating, meet ups, meeting new partners, meeting people, okc, online dating, poly dating, primary, primary/secondary, secondary, sex, small town, solo, third partner, thirds

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