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Old 04-27-2010, 11:54 PM
jallenhayslett jallenhayslett is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
Default Hi All

New to Poly here.

Been in a mono relationship for 1.5 years. Picked up a copy of Ethical Slut a year ago but never read it while I was in my mono. I recently broke up with my mono and decided to read through. After reading I know what attracted me to the book in the first place. This sings to me in a way I haven't been able to vocalize for years.

I label myself as bi, only privately and to the closest of friends, but definitely have a propensity towards women. I guess you could say my standards for the men I would consider sharing myself with are pretty high, as are my standards for women. I described my sexuality to one friend at one time as being tied to whomever I am with at the time. If I am with a male, then I am gay. If I am with a female, then I am straight. Call it what you want it. I prefer both at different times.

That being said, the one thing that attracted me to the book to begin with was the idea that, much like a group of friends, I can find fulfillment from each one of them, but on a much deeper level and for different parts of myself. There is barely a sliver within me that is content with sharing myself with one person. I find that a circle of relationships is crucial to a fulfilling life. Imagine "Friends" only a lot less monogamy and a lot more freedom. Yes, I just made a "Friends" reference.

So that's a scratch on the surface. I'm embarking on a new journey. Things will get deeper as they go.

Last edited by jallenhayslett; 04-27-2010 at 11:56 PM.
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Old 04-29-2010, 04:50 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Welcome to the forum
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Old 04-29-2010, 09:08 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
Posts: 545

Welcome !! I am a 52 year old female and I consider myself bisexual too. I was in a 12 year monogamous lesbian relationship and I've been in 4 hetro relationships with guys which all lasted an average of 2 to 3 years each. I've only "come out" to myself as poly recently (within the last 3 months) and realize that I've been working my way to this lifestyle for many many years.....I also read The Ethical Slut and I resonated with it very much as well. I found this forum and have really been enjoying the sharing. It's helping me to wrap my brain around this!!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
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