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  #11  
Old 04-28-2010, 12:47 PM
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Marco Marco is offline
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@Tseras Don't be so down on yourself. I've experienced the same thing as you. Numerous times. Hell, I even blogged about my performance issues. Of course, I made light of it...cause hey, no need to be depressed over it. So, I joked about my conditions and lo and behold...my relationship with both women are flourishing.

It seems things turned out alright for you, so nothing to be ashamed about now.
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Last edited by Marco; 04-28-2010 at 03:53 PM. Reason: Typo
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  #12  
Old 04-28-2010, 03:37 PM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
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I'm going to second that. We are not in the habit of deleting threads on here because that would mean erasing everyone's words, not just yours, and besides, someone else may read this and benefit from it, as you have benefited from discussing it.

If you are still worried about your username, I suggest sending a PM to the mods to change it to something that you don't use elsewhere on the internet.
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  #13  
Old 04-28-2010, 08:37 PM
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Honestheart Honestheart is offline
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I know this will sound incredibly simplistic and very "blanket" response... but
its not all about the sex. you'll find that ina ny relationship, sex is the icing on the cake... but the cake is still delicious to eat without icing... and speaking of "eating" yes ther are other ways to have sex (well, maybe not according the Mr Clinton's definition of sex) via pleasuring with the tongue or fingers. there are lotsa ways to enjoy sex without intercourse or without orgasms too! ;-)
on a side note tho, it will bring up insecurities in not only you but possibly in any poly partners you have too... they may not understand that it is not that you arent aroused, merely that you have ED.
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  #14  
Old 04-28-2010, 08:40 PM
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fyi.....
my ex husband had ED but never got help or even a diagnosis....he was too proud/scared....
it was devastating to his self esteem... and to mine too...
It is encouraging to say the least to see sumbody have the courage to say what you have....
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  #15  
Old 04-28-2010, 09:08 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Not being able to come is not uncommon, at least I hope not . I have a hard time when wearing condoms or if there is not a lot of friction. I tend to be a long laster so at times if my partner has come a few times and is at the point where the condom hurts (I have had a few partners allergic) or it is just becoming work to make me come, I will stop.

I have also had problems performing, but that was strictly performance anxiety (I was having doubts that I would be good enough to be with her, which ironically, made the performance a bad one). Once I got comfortable with the situation I was fine.

Unless it is a regular occurrence I wouldn't worry to much.
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  #16  
Old 04-29-2010, 05:33 AM
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Well I can say this thread has already helped someone. My husband for the last 5 years has had one excuse after another why he can not have sex when I asked for it. We only had intercourse when he wanted it. This has left me feeling like I no longer turn him on and I was not worth trying any harder for.
I just went out to the barn and showed him this thread. It opened up a great talk and for the first time I felt like he really heard me. Thank you for bring this topic to light.
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  #17  
Old 04-29-2010, 03:53 PM
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Lemondrop Lemondrop is offline
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I understand having problems you're embarrassed about. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and say that you do have that problem. But it's extremely important that you *do* stand up, that *someone* stands up, so that other people don't have to go through the same pain that you have. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and you could help other people see that. We, as a society, have a tendency to blame the victim, and the only way to stop that is to stop blaming ourselves.

You are the only one who can decide how much you can take. I try very hard to be brave enough to tell people about what's wrong with me on the off chance that it might help them, but honestly sometimes I'm too scared. If you can't stand the embarrassment, that's up to you. But I'm begging you to think about it before you decide to hide. Your story could help someone else, maybe someone you would never suspect of needing help, and you could help change the way people think about ED. Little things sometimes have profound effects.
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