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  #11  
Old 04-25-2010, 02:54 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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I can understand why the stereotypes are there. But I have never personally experienced it. But who knows what people say behind my back
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  #12  
Old 04-26-2010, 05:38 AM
booklady78 booklady78 is offline
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I've definitely experienced the 'commitment' stereotype. My Mother told me several of her lovely opinions about poly including that I should take off my wedding ring and that I wasn't really married anymore. She seemed to believe I was betraying my wedding vows as well until I reminded her that neither my hubby or I or the minister said anything about exclusivity in our wedding ceremony. I didn't debate any further with her as her opinions have always meant rather little to me. She looks up on my poly life with confusion as she has so little love in her life, she's so incredibly lonely and unhappy. And here I am with two of the most wonderful men in the world and the support of so many friends <3
With most of my family being very against poly, a thought comes to mind that I wish they could understand. Just because they can't imagine themselves doing something, doesn't mean I should let go of this reality. But as the saying goes... wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one gets filled first :P
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  #13  
Old 04-26-2010, 05:51 AM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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The thing I hear most about is that the sex is loose, wild, unprotected, indiscriminate and dangerous.
Some people just can't seem to stop worrying about my physical health. Annoying as shit!
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  #14  
Old 04-26-2010, 12:15 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Well I'm into recreational (non-sexual) nudity and sometimes when people find out they assume it's something it is not. For example, they think it's all about advertising the goods in order to facilitate sexual hook-ups, and just the other day someone said to me "I knew that [whatever we were talking about] wouldn't shock you, after all you're an exhibitionist". That's not what it's about, folks...

And remember, the title of this thread is "Stereotypes" so we can discuss this even beyond the scope of polyamory and not have it be considered hijacking.
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  #15  
Old 04-27-2010, 02:00 AM
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Honestheart Honestheart is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YGirl View Post
And remember, the title of this thread is "Stereotypes" so we can discuss this even beyond the scope of polyamory and not have it be considered hijacking.
you are not hijacking in the least! :-)
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  #16  
Old 04-27-2010, 02:44 AM
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Well I am 5'9" tall BBW that wears mens size 11 hiking boots. (I would give any thing to find cute shoes that would fit!) I wear blue jeans or jean shorts,T shirts and a mens long sleeve shirt most of the time. I wear my hair short and wear a ball cap most of the time. I am also openly pagan.
At first glance or meet more then a hand full think I am gay. Once they find out I have kids then they think I am bi. ( Sorry not even close, not wired that way) they are shocked when they find out I am happily married almost 15 year (to same guy). What ever. I try to never second guess anyone. I also do not ask info that is none of my business.
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  #17  
Old 04-27-2010, 08:10 AM
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I got "you better start telling your boy he has two daddies because he will now" and "your boy will be confused" and "you will damage your boy with all the sex you have in front of him" and "Mono must have an un-natural intention towards your boy." I got the *throw your ring out* one too as well as "Mono is in this to take what is yours because he doesn't have anything" and "don't expect us to babysit because we know you will be having sex when your not is away"

There are plenty more. luckily things have changed for my mother little by little.
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  #18  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:00 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Default I get slightly different ones,...

Sometimes, there is a automatic assumption, of what a 'poly' person must look like, or be into. Even by other poly people.

-I am not 'geeky'.
-Nor hippie, earthy, or yuppie.
- I am not a vegetarian. LOL.
-No desk job,
- Not Pagan,
....and I don`t like Starbucks. LOL

These of course, are funny stereotypes, not hurtful ones. It`s natural for people to want to label, and categorize, so they can relate it to something they understand. Where there is issue, is when people close their minds, from hearing anything that is outside of their initial concept.
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  #19  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:16 PM
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Hey, we LOVE Staerbucks. LOL

Anyway, we have experienced the following:

Him-(from his buddies) Man, I could never let my wife do that with someone else. I would kill him and then her too.
(Also from buddies) Dude, that would be killer if she let YOU do that too though. Oh she does? I guess it's not SO bad then....But I would still have a problem with it.

From others: No way I could do that. You must have some issues with keeping your wife in line. and the great "Oh, she must have commitment issues"


Her: Your husband makes you do things like that? Wow...I would leave him in a heartbeat.

The the opposite from others: WOW! If my husband would let me do something like that, I would be out doing the whole (insert some sports team here) team! How did you get him to let you playt around?

Oh you poor thing.




Now, on the other hand, we got a positive response form our kids when we came out to them. Our 18 yo daughter said: "Whatever. I don't think I could do that right away, but you've been married for 19 years to eachother, so it must work for you. Hope you find someone nice." And from our 13 yo son:"Meah. Whatever. it's not really for me, but I hope it works good for you guys."


I guess we raised our kids right.
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  #20  
Old 04-27-2010, 03:51 PM
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ksandra ksandra is offline
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I know I said in an earlier post that I have never run into any serious stereotypes but I was discussing this withsome friends and they reminded me of a night at a bar. There were six of us there, five of us were good friends and another guy, K, who was friends with one of our group members. Somehow relationships came up, and T (my boyfriend) and I are very open with our group of friends, who are very accepting. So we were talking about how our relationships were going as a general check-in for all the people in the group when T brought up a girl he was seeing. Everyone else just nodded and asked about her but K said something along the lines of "Aren't you in a relationship?" When T answered affirmatively K responded by saying that T couldn't really love me because if he did he wouldn't be screwing around with other women and looking for something better.

Before T or I had time to respond to the comment the other three people (two of whom are in/believe in monogamous, committed relationships) were arguing FOR poly relationships and calling K an idiot.

It didn't turn into a huge fight or anything but we debated it for quite awhile with K pulling things out like "If you love someone you won't even look at anyone else" or "Three people is just weird, no one is made to want that" and it was really lovely to see these three friends backing T and I despite it not necessarily being what they practice.

Anyway just thought I would share that, it's my closest run in with stereotyping
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