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Old 04-25-2010, 08:01 PM
Archangel Archangel is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 1
Default In need of advice.

Hello to all.

Let me start out by saying that my wife (R) and I have been in an open relationship for about 10 years now, and it has been very successful. However, what had been pretty solid as a swinging sort of situation has evolved into more of a poly one.

There are two other women in my life, E and S. I have been friends with E for ages, and S has been a recent, and initially, more casual addition.

Let me add also that while quite a number of our friends have known that R and I have an open relationship, they do not know specifics of who is involved (namely E and S), and our families know nothing about any of it.

The problem now is that, due to the miracle of failed modern chemistry, S is pregnant. She has decided to keep the baby, and I am not about to back down from my responsibilities, so in the end, we plan to have her move in with us to live as a quad, with this being the second child (my wife and I have one already).

The dynamics between all of us is the least of my concerns, to be honest. What I'm worried about is coming out to friends and family under these circumstances. It's one thing to admit the nature of our relationship - that's not something we've broadcasted, but we've never been shy about admitting it to those who have wondered or asked questions, either.

But this is a double whammy to those who know nothing, and I don't know how to handle it. To approach my father to explain that my wife and I sometimes have other women in our life is one thing. To say that, as a result, he's going to be a grandfather again is another entirely. And S's parents are an even bigger concern, as she is very young and will have to explain how she got pregnant by a married man, but is fine with moving in with him, his wife, and his other girlfriend.

Again, the dynamics of our core group are the least of my worries. Both R and E are supportive of S, and of the baby, and have both vowed to help in every way possible to raise this baby in one big loving family.

But the judgment of others is a concern. I do intend on browsing the "coming out" threads on here, but this seems to be a notch above most of those in complexity - please does anyone have any advice?

Thank you from all of us in advance.

- M
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children, coming out, family, pregnant, quad

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