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Old 04-25-2010, 02:36 PM
faeriesrreal's Avatar
faeriesrreal faeriesrreal is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 5
Unhappy I am the wife...

my husband recently stated he is poly and he also posts on this board as well. My thing is I do not like females. Any and all women/girls I have ever worked with, hung with, met or what have you have exhibited the same backstabby, catty, judgemental, moody, opinionated, steam-roller behaviors. Because of this I DO NOT want to have a relationship with another woman. I have low self esteem and only recently have I begun to test out my boundaries, state my opinions and stick with them, and request my rights. I do not want any female coming into the picture and setting me back. My default setting is to just go with the flow, defer to others and walk on eggshells no matter if it makes me uncomfortable or not. My husband has encouraged me to become a stronger person, he is not against me learning who I am and what I like; although I can tell it hurts him that I am not on the same page.....at least right now. My conundrum is just this: how do I let a female in, even to be a friend ( I have female "acquaintances", and have had the same ones for over 25 years, but I keep them a safe emotional distance away) but I mean a 'close' friend, to trust them; to be able to feel as safe as I do with my husband in expressing my thoughts, opinions, and MY moodiness without the fear that they will get tired of it, leave and hurt me? Afterall, she wouldn't have any REAL reason to stay and put up with me. Plus, if she and my husband find they get along too well, they both might bolt. This is what I am afraid of.

"Just living is not enough" said the butterfly fairy, "one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower." ~ Hans Christian Anderson
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