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Old 04-21-2010, 09:14 PM
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Firedancer Firedancer is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Default Love is confusing....

Ok my quad situation has been pretty good, but now that everyone but me is saying "love" to one another it's really got me thinking about what love is to me....

1.For one, I don't just fall in love in a month or two, especialy when there are so many people involved. So, what happens if I fall in love with one of the people in my partner couple and not the other, and they are both already telling me they love me? Is it appropriate to tell the one, and not the other?

2.Would I be comprimising my situation by doing this?

3.I am in love with someone outside of this entire situation, unfortunately it is an ex, and DP would never allow me to pursue him in any way. But, I am feeling like all these expectations of love are being put on me, and I know what I want and what the kind of love it is that I "require". My DP recently talked to our partners without coming to me first about closing the relationship and the four of us being monogomous with one another. I was pretty livid, but calmly just told him it was unfair for him to have that conversation without me. I made it clear at the begining that I may date outside of this, and everyone knew that. So, just because things are going well, they get to make that decision? Am I being unfair?

4.Should I cut off all contact with the afformentioned ex? I'm not sure I am ready for that

So, I guess I'm not really confused but feeling frustrated. I want that love I have had only a handfull of times. I refuse to say it, untill I get that "feeling" and yet why do I feel obligated? How long would you be with someone and not feel like you love them before just telling them that it isn't likely to happen?

TIA!
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