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Old 06-19-2014, 12:08 PM
polycoupleNL polycoupleNL is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 2
Default Polycouple NL

Hi. We are a couple who want start our adventure with poly relationship. We are very open and spontaneous people, who love contact with others We are happily married for four years. We love each other and understand each other perfectly. We are able to communicate in all circumstances. We are full of energy and we love life. We try to take from each day this what is the best and just be happy.
We are looking for people similar to us. Cheerful, smiling and open person.
We do not have experience in a polygamous relationship but we feel that we can bestow a feeling to someone else.
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Old 07-10-2014, 01:45 AM
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Sablesjade Sablesjade is offline
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 7

Hello Everyone!

My moniker is Sablesjade (I name a created for myself a long time ago) and I live in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. I live with my spouse whose moniker is Niel and we have been together for almost 3 1/2 years, but we have known each other for well over a decade. Niel has always been polyamorous (and bisexual) but has never had the chance to explore the polyamory relationship side. I am poly curious (and bi curious), as I didn't even know what it was until I met my spouse. We have always talked about engaging in threesomes and what not, and only just recently started talking about trying to find a third or another couple for permanent relations. I recently developed feelings for one of our friends and realized that I may be polyamorous as well. We are both new to this so we are looking to talk and meet people who will not judge us, share experiences and point us in the right direction. Niel does not enjoy doing the whole forum thing, so it will just be myself posting in here. If you want to know anything else, please don't hesitate to ask!
Thank you so much for reading! I hope to make lots of new friends, and hopefully find other Calgarians as well!
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Old 07-18-2014, 03:18 PM
LadyEm LadyEm is offline
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 5
Default Hello from the Mono in a Mono/Poly Relationship

Hello! I'm LadyEm. I'm a thirtysomething living in San Francisco with my husband, Kid #1, and baby-to-be. My husband and I opened up our marriage a little over a year ago. We were high school sweethearts and will be married for 11 years this month.

Our open marriage discussions started several years ago, when he was traveling a lot for work and I was pregnant with our first kid. Being high school sweethearts neither of us had ever even kissed another person, so it was a big idea. But he's a social butterfly night owl, and my reclusive let's-just-chill-at-home-tonight-every-night personality sort of made him feel caged.

We started out swinging, which just wasn't for me. It wasn't the sex, it was the late-night lifestyle. I'm an early bird, and going to parties where the action doesn't even start until after midnight just did not do well for my physical and mental well-being. Plus, we have a toddler, and guess who gets to wake up every morning at 6:30? Yeah, that wasn't working.

After I dropped out of the swinging scene, he started dating other women. At first it was just casual, but he found he really liked the emotional connection of a relationship. A few months ago, he met a really sweet, wonderful girl, K, who he really clicked with, and she became his "girlfriend." None of us was really looking for this type of relationship, but we sort of fell into it.

Now I'm trying to grapple with being a mono in a mono/poly relationship. It's an emotional roller coaster, and I never know what the next day will bring. I completely agree with the philosophy that it is possible to love more than one person and that love begets more love, but since I haven't yet been in more than one relationship I struggle with being the "odd one out" in a poly relationship. I have been trying to reach out to local support groups since I don't have anyone in my life I can talk to about our situation except for DH and K. Sometimes you just need a third (fourth?) perspective, you know?

Anyway, normally I'm a pretty positive and happy person but I'm just going through a tough transition to this new "normal". Any advice, resources, or support is greatly appreciated!

One thing, I identify now as mono, but I don't think that it's, like, a permanent thing. I would like to date and make friends and have other relationships, but right now with my "being in a family way" (5 months along as of this post) I just don't see that as safe or possible. Maybe in a year or two once I'm back to my "fighting weight" I might break out in the scene. The beauty of life is you make your own opportunities!
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Old 07-18-2014, 06:36 PM
polypie polypie is offline
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 49
Question Dyads and triads and quads, Oooohhhh my!

I'm learning all sorts of new terms and phrases... If you're comfortable, please share what sort of polyamorous relationships work for you AND which don't. Do you know why that is?
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Old 07-18-2014, 11:17 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Stable and sane poly relationships work for me..
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Old 07-19-2014, 08:21 AM
Nadya Nadya is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 528

This could also help you out a bit: Glossary and Definitions

Dyad - a relationship between two people within a poly arrangement
For example, my polycule is a Vee, and there are three dyads:
  • me + CJ - we are married (with romance and sex and all that)
  • me + Mark - we are romantically and sexually involved with each other
  • CJ + Mark - they are in friendly terms, not involved with each other romantically or sexually
Triad - a relationship with three people where everyone is romantically involved with each other

Quad - a poly arrangement with four people, most often two pre-existing couples who "couple up" together.
sharing my everyday life with
CJ: legal husband and
Mark: partner
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Old 07-21-2014, 03:33 PM
salan salan is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
Default Hello world!

Hi Alan here. New to this forum and Polamory. Suzanna (my 'legal wife' of 33 years) and I have BOTH fallen in love with a lady and have (although not legal) exchanged vows and rings. So in our eyes, the three of us are married.
I also love another lady (everyone knows about it), but thats more complicated as she is in a marriage and although there is no 'relationship' and hasn't been for years, they won't split until the kids are older.
Anne (the new partner) is about the same age as us and we are buying a new house to all move into. The house we have now is big enough but it is felt that it is how Suzanna and I want it and Anne feels that she wont be able to make an imprint on it.
We were thinking of moving anyway so no problem.
Absolutely no jealousy at all. Yes we are 'over the honeymoon period lol'.
So lots to do and families to 'inform'. We are doing that in stages and so far so good! There is always a question of just how much you bother to tell a 90year old mother in law!
Looking forward to getting opinions and advice on various subjects and practical advice on things.
We ARE all swingers, but to be honest we are 'easing off on that for now' as we are very happy the three of us. So it may be an occasional thing.
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Old 07-22-2014, 12:29 AM
SouthernFirefly SouthernFirefly is offline
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 13

Originally Posted by polypie View Post
I'm learning all sorts of new terms and phrases... If you're comfortable, please share what sort of polyamorous relationships work for you AND which don't. Do you know why that is?
We are in what we refer to ourselves as a quad.
We were two couples who had been friends for several years when the next thing you know, we started having feelings for each other.

In our situation (borrowing some of Nadya's definition):

me + S - we are married (with romance and sex and all that)

A + M - they are married with romance and sex and all that.

me + M - romantically and sexually involved with each other

A + S - romantically and sexually involved with each other

me + A - my female best friend and sexually involved on occasion

M + S - best of friends, act like brothers, but not sexually or romantically involved in any capacity.

We did not identify as poly and we were not looking for anyone(s) to add to our marriage. Our situation grew organically out of friendship. I guess you would call us polyfidelitous? Meaning we are a closed group not looking to add anymore to our group.

Welcome to the board!
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Old 07-22-2014, 08:21 PM
highlivin229 highlivin229 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 20

Hi all. I'm a dominant male, married with a baby. I was previously interested in the cuckold lifestyle; in fact I currently am running two cuckold affairs (both husbands know about me, and in fact are submissive to me).

But now my tastes and needs are changing. I'm interested in establishing a poly household. I decided to start writing here in order to explore my needs, and articulate what they are before pursuing them.

I am 46, and extremely interested in bringing another woman into my household, and having another child with her. My wife and I are getting ready to get her pregnant again. Yet I feel this inexorable need to have more childrenómany more children.

I was single before I married for the first time in 2013. My wife is currently 24, and she is very happy with our life. So am I. I love her, and adore our child.

But I need more.
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Old 07-23-2014, 05:19 AM
azorkanesbrat azorkanesbrat is offline
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 45

I am in a long term committed relationship with Azorkane.
He is "dating" (for lack of a better word) Amber.
Amber spends a lot of time at our house and she and I have become close.

So I guess we're kinda in a triad - no one is having sex with Amber - but we'd all like to (waiting on tests). She spends a lot of nights at our house - snuggles all around
Just me. Not dating. Not in a relationship. Just trying to figure out who I am and what I want.

Don't say *There's still time* or *Maybe next time* because there is always the concept of *It's too late*
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