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Old 04-20-2010, 03:01 AM
Honestheart's Avatar
Honestheart Honestheart is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 91
Question Labels: Poly, Mono, heterosexual, homosexual, etc.

Just curious,
am in a contemplative kinda mood tonight...I am not looking for somebody to tell me what i am... i am actually wondering if others have gone through something like what i describe below...
so here goes...

At times i have felt the need to "label" in an attempt to define myself and others around me so i may better understand.... but as i get older, I find said labels are restrictive and well... not true nor necessarily applicable or required...

I found myself wondering what am i if i choose to be open to new experiences. I have found myself to be only capable of handling one man at a a time. not that i cannot love more than one man, because i have experienced that,loving more than one man at a time, but that i find time wise and life wise what i want can come from being in an exclusive monogamous relationship... well exclusive from my side anyways
I find that I am fine if my SO is in love and had another partner. as long as it is healthy relationship where he still has time for me AND for her equally.

Unfortunately, that has not happened... yet (?) and i find myself turning the page on poly relationships... for now (?). but that is another story and another thread (possibly?) for another time (maybe?)

so what does that make me... if i am capable of loving more than one man, but choose to love one man but i am ok with that man being in love with more than just me.
is it a mono-poly relationship.... seeing as how i can love more than one but choose to love only one making me "mono" and then my partner would be "poly" ?
or am i poly, because i am capable and have loved more than one person at a time... i've just chosen to be with only one man for my own personal reasons...
i guess what i am saying is the answer i have found to my question of what am i is... I'm ME. but if anybody were to ask what i was... poly, mono, hetro, lesbian...
I wouldn't know what to answer....
other than to say
"i'm open to love in any form as long as it is love and not lust or just experimental."
it is not that i do not know who or what i am...it is simply... I am ME. I know what I want, whether that comes from a monogamous or polyamorous partner....

what about you? have you struggled with labels in an attempt to define yourself? did you find them restrictive too? not looking for somebody to say what i am.... i'm just wondering if others have gone through that same "label" struggle that i have been through?
.... am in a contemplative kinda mood tonight as i said earlier ;-)
"...Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." ~St Augustine

Last edited by NeonKaos; 04-20-2010 at 12:15 PM.
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