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Old 04-20-2010, 12:33 AM
samaki82 samaki82 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 13

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I'm not seeing the reason why it would be your last?
What I meant is that I didn't know if I was going to be able to emotionally handle another relationship right now and probably not for a while.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
As you mentioned, the other guy was a poor communicator. So if your first boyfriend ever had been a poor communicator, would you have sworn off dating for good?

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
One idea for next time could be to take it more slowly and getting a feel for his communication skills before it gets too far.
I agree with you there. Sometimes it is hard to keep those feelings in check and I tend to jump into relationships fast.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
More importantly, how did it go for you and the boyfriend of 6 1/2 years?
The relationship part he was ok with and was very open about it. We kept a really good line of communication going the entire time. There were some difficult moments at the end of the relationship with the other guy because it affected me.

I feel that this experience has made me appreciate my current relationship more and made me realize what I have. Sometimes in long relationships that can be lost a little. I feel a lot more stable in my relationship now.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
One of the great things about poly is you can have "NRE" (new relationship energy) while maintaining the comfortable stability of a long-term relationship.

If your ideal setup is the one long-term relationship with a series of side flings, I would probably suggest being honest about that with any new partners: that you're not looking for a second long-term relationship. That way they're not investing too much long-term energy into something only to have the rug pulled out.
I wouldn't really say I was looking for flings. I've had that. It wasn't something that I was seeking out. It just happened. I was very open from the beginning and throughout the relationship with everyone involved. I just think that the other guy wasn't being honest with himself and thinking that he could change what he wanted.

I appreciate the response, thank you.
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