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  #301  
Old 06-14-2014, 02:47 AM
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RichardInTN RichardInTN is offline
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Oh, I agree that the Bible isn't my first/best choice. I only suggest that if religious objections are brought into play. The Bible won't help with gay or bisexual... but it absolutely can help with poly (even if, in it's shortsightedness, it is limited, as mentioned by kdt, to various variations on polygyny).
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  #302  
Old 06-14-2014, 02:09 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
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Saying you're gay first and bisexual second, sounds to me like someone saying, "I'm a vegetarian, but I sometimes eat meat." Ummm, wait, what???

So, please don't be offended if a lot of people are confused. They'll also probably read what you said to me, "I love my wife, but in a non sexual way." So you probably will NEVER get any other female interest. Which may be what you want. But, again, don't be offended if a woman ever rejects you. She's probably just wholly confused
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  #303  
Old 06-14-2014, 04:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PolyinPractice View Post
So you probably will NEVER get any other female interest.
I expect there are many people out there who have this black and white view of sexuality. Those folks, who don't understand that sexuality is a spectrum, might have follow up questions or they may just throw up their hands in confusion as you've described.

Honestly, I don't think that's a big loss. Kind of weeding out the ones worth engaging and the ones that should be discarded.
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  #304  
Old 06-14-2014, 05:14 PM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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The issue I see in leading with the idea that you are gay is that people will mistakenly jump to the conclusion that you and your wife are headed for a break up. As Marcus pointed out, people often see sexuality in very black and white terms.

I can tell that reaching the conclusion that you lean more towards the gay end of the spectrum was both liberating and a relief. Awesome!

But I guess the thing I would consider in telling your dad is what message do you want to give? The truth that you and your wife are still tight, marriage not in trouble, AND you have added a bf?

Or is it more important to communicate your self-identity?

You may be able to do both, but it's a helluva lot harder than picking just one message.
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Last edited by bookbug; 06-14-2014 at 05:14 PM. Reason: Typos
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  #305  
Old 06-15-2014, 02:45 PM
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I am telling my mom today. That is my declaration. Today.
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  #306  
Old 06-15-2014, 04:01 PM
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Good luck!
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  #307  
Old 06-15-2014, 04:37 PM
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Hang tight today. My fingers are crossed!
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  #308  
Old 06-15-2014, 06:19 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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Best of luck! I "came out" to my mom last year (partly because we have a negative history, so I get perverse joy out of telling her things that I know will drive her crazy now that she can't do anything about how I live my life), and she still doesn't quite get it. I came out to my dad just a couple weeks ago, and he didn't seem too pleased, but the only concern he voiced was whether Hubby and my kids knew. (He wanted to make sure Hubby did know; he wanted to make sure the kids *didn't*. Though my older one does.)
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  #309  
Old 06-15-2014, 11:29 PM
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Tell us how that goes! [fingers crossed]
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  #310  
Old 06-16-2014, 08:11 AM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Good luck!!!
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