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Old 04-30-2014, 07:25 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,571

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
I know for me, the LAST thing I want to be doing in post-sex cozy is relationship management talk about OTHER relationships. I rather be doing that when I'm emotionally prepared to go there, not when I'm wide open and and vulnerable.
I am the opposite. I have usually always had the best discussions about relationships, and life in general, while in bed with someone after fucking, or on a break in between fucking. My worst discussions about serious relationship issues were done over a cup of tea at the table.

So, while it may be for some that post-coital time is when people are feeling most vulnerable, it isn't that way for everyone. As I see it, Mags, he felt close to you and wanted to have a loving, honest discussion with you at that moment. I really don't see the fact that you'd just had sex as such a wrong move and something you need to focus on and turn into a big issue. I see your inner work in coming to terms with his interest on others as a more pressing need for you than making a big deal out of him having talked to you about Carla while in bed with you.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 04-30-2014 at 07:27 PM.
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