Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions


Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-25-2014, 08:09 PM
NorCal NorCal is offline
New Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2
Default New to Polyandry -

Hello all, I am a thirty something recently divorced male with a vasectomy. My GF and I are wanting to have a child and we recognize the commitment that means so we have asked her good friend to contribute genetic material and if willing paternal and financial support. We have not consummated this agreement yet because we are feeling our way into this thing slowly to see if we can all get along after conception.

Essentially this means that I find myself in a polyandrous relationship. I am the primary boyfriend and I know that I will not loose her over this but I am wondering if there is anyone here willing to contribute some advice or support. I have joined the Polyandry group but there is only eight people in it so IDK who is still active.

Polygamy sounds cool but I would not feel comfortable in a polygamous relationship, one woman is enough for me. I am somehow able to accept my girlfriend sleeping with her best friend so long as I am not neglected and remain the dominant male.

Yeah this is not what I would talk to the guys at work about. You know?
Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 11:04 PM
kdt26417's Avatar
kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
Official Greeter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
Posts: 11,878

Greetings NorCal,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Polyamory.com is the right kind of place to talk about these kinds of things. I am in a hetero MFM V so if both men were legally married to the woman then we could certainly call it polyandry. I don't worry too much about who's "top dog," I just want to make sure everyone's needs are being met.

So this other guy who is contributing genetic material, will his relationship with you guys be strictly that of a secondary father, or will he have an ongoing romance with your girlfriend and perhaps some kind of friendship with you?

Let us know of all thoughts, questions, and/or concerns you might have.

Kevin T., "official greeter"


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2014, 11:06 PM
PolyinPractice PolyinPractice is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 519

Not a bad start, but a few things:

1) Polygamy is not the same as polyamory. Polyamory is simply the freedom to have multiple romantic relationships. It's not a marriage structure.

2) Couple privilege, such as you speak of when you say you need to remain the dominant male, usually leads to problems in poly.

Are you looking for more of a swinging or poly situation? Because if they have a child, he is likely to take a very prominent role in the relationship.
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 07:55 PM.