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  #21  
Old 04-22-2014, 12:39 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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No dice. I'm incredibly terrible at joke getting. In fact, I struggle with most things that are generally considered obvious. But I'm *awesome* at making simple things complicated...
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The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #22  
Old 04-22-2014, 04:26 AM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
I don't like to waste time online/texting because too often I've met someone and had zero chemistry or attraction.
*nods*.. this..

Its funny how many people complain about being lead on, online. When the simple reality may be that online chemistry does not always equal chemistry in person.

I have to meet the person, usually quickly, in order for me to judge friend, foe or relationship worthy.
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  #23  
Old 04-22-2014, 08:12 AM
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I remember reading in Sex at Dawn about how humans can "smell" whether someone is a good genetic match, and that it plays a huge factor in mate selection... which translates to partner attraction in the "we're not just baby machines" world of modern life.

I thought it was especially interesting the way the birth control pill masks our ability to sense those factors, and so when some women go off it to start making babies, they suddenly discover they're not that attracted to their partners anymore.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #24  
Old 04-22-2014, 09:24 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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If I had great online chemistry with someone but no chemistry in person, I'd just continue the relationship online rather than throw it away altogether. I don't have a goal of turning every relationship into a local one anyway. Though I doubt chemistry would be a big deal for me in the first place, because my intimate relationships don't even have to be romantic.

Of course, I'm fully aware that I'm a weird one, and the above would only work with equally weird people, but I do think my long-distance SOs are the same type as me. :P
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Last edited by Eponine; 04-22-2014 at 09:31 AM.
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  #25  
Old 04-22-2014, 06:48 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eponine View Post
If I had great online chemistry with someone but no chemistry in person, I'd just continue the relationship online rather than throw it away altogether.

Of course, I'm fully aware that I'm a weird one, and the above would only work with equally weird people, but I do think my long-distance SOs are the same type as me. :P
I don't think that's weird at all. That's actually a really good solution to the problem.

Anyway, non-weird people are boring.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #26  
Old 04-22-2014, 08:14 PM
LoveBunny LoveBunny is offline
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The idea of a strictly online or LDR doesn't appeal to me in the least. Frankly, I regard people who say they're "in love" with someone they've only met online, or that they're "in a relationship" with someone they only see once or twice a year with a good dose of skepticism. I'm not on dating sites to find a pen pal. I either respectfully decline or don't respond at all to people who contact me from far away, or who only visit my area once or twice a year.
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  #27  
Old 04-22-2014, 09:37 PM
AlwaysGrowing AlwaysGrowing is offline
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I think it depends on how you relate to people and/or what your love languages are.

Personally, I value quality time and physical touch and need those to establish any kind of meaningful connection. Therefore LDRs/strictly online relationships don't work for me - I could probably make it work to someone I have been established with for a while (for example, if hubby had to move and I couldn't, we could probably make it work), but for new people, no way. Someone who values words of affirmation or gifts could quite easily maintain those kinds of relationships.

I also don't really understand falling in love over the internet. People tend to misrepresent themselves online, so until you've experienced each other in various situations (both IRL and online) then I don't know how you can KNOW you're in love.
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  #28  
Old 04-22-2014, 10:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
Frankly, I regard people who say they're "in love" with someone they've only met online, or that they're "in a relationship" with someone they only see once or twice a year with a good dose of skepticism.
A lot of people say the same thing about people who claim be "in love" or "in a relationship" with two people the same time.

Skepticism is fine, but it's presumptuous to believe you're capable of determining whether someone's feelings are real based your own inability to connect through a given medium.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #29  
Old 04-22-2014, 10:47 PM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysGrowing View Post
I think it depends on how you relate to people and/or what your love languages are.

Personally, I value quality time and physical touch and need those to establish any kind of meaningful connection. Therefore LDRs/strictly online relationships don't work for me - I could probably make it work to someone I have been established with for a while (for example, if hubby had to move and I couldn't, we could probably make it work), but for new people, no way. Someone who values words of affirmation or gifts could quite easily maintain those kinds of relationships.
I actually value quality time and physical touch much more than words of affirmation or gifts. Gifts are of zero importance to me. Words of affirmation may be a bit more important in online relationship than in-person ones, but still not super important.

For me, quality time doesn't have to be in person. A good email conversation or online chat is my quality time. Or maybe I value the underlying intellectual and emotional connection more than actually spending time together. Physical touch is an interesting one. It's my highest score in the 5 love languages test and I enjoy it very much, but I don't absolutely need it in every relationship. It's an expression of love, but not a requirement for me to feel love or establish a connection. But that's just me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
A lot of people say the same thing about people who claim be "in love" or "in a relationship" with two people the same time.

Skepticism is fine, but it's presumptuous to believe you're capable of determining whether someone's feelings are real based your own inability to connect through a given medium.
I wish there was a "like" button to click.
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Last edited by Eponine; 04-22-2014 at 10:52 PM.
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  #30  
Old 04-23-2014, 06:14 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I have online friends, like Ari, whose lives I enjoy hearing about and whom I hope to meet someday.
But I can't get to "dating" or "partners" without the option of regular in person contact.
(hopefully I dont offend him with this exampl) but, taking Ari as an example. His personalit completely appeals to me. Conversations with him are interestig and thought provoking. I like his devotion to his family and I think he is great dating material.
BUT-he lives so far away, I have managed on three occasions in four years to make it to the area he lives and all three times, he was away for work. SO YEAH-there is NO WAY that would erupt in "god I love you Ari lets have skype sex" or whatever.
Likewise, (just to take Ari out of the hot seat) I often find myself intrigued and interested in getting to know nycindie and Marcus. But seriously? When the hell woukd we EVER meet face to face? I am in Alaska. Traveling to Nyc is freaking EXPENSIVE and even if I got there, whose to say she'd be available to hang out?
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