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  #11  
Old 08-17-2011, 04:04 PM
Periwinkle Periwinkle is offline
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I actually first heard about poly through a trans* person. I would say that a woman, whether trans or cis, non-op, pre-op, or post-op, is whoever she says she is. It's not up to others who you are, just yourself.
And I'm very happy to see such acceptance in the poly community.
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  #12  
Old 08-17-2011, 06:35 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juliaandpatti View Post
In the dynamic of a triad, quad would you consider a non-operative bisexual transsexual female a unicorn?
No, as stated by another poster, a unicorn is usually seen as a bisexual single woman who enters into a relationship with a MF couple.

Of course, you are a woman! And if the guy in a MF couple was bisexual (whether he is a cis gendered male or a transman), a transwoman, pre, post or non-op, should be acceptable.

However many porn watching, tranny chasing bi guys crave to be anally penetrated with a "chick with a dick." In my experience, most pre op/non op transgirls do not want to use their genitals to penetrate a guy.

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Would I be a overall turn off to "straight" men looking for a relationship such as a quad like another married couple?

Some narrow minded straight cis gendered males will freak even if a transwoman is post op, should he be told or find out somehow. Homophobia leads them to think a person with a "penis" in the bed with them would make them gay. And they think it's horrible to be gay.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

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  #13  
Old 08-17-2011, 06:37 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juliaandpatti View Post
In the dynamic of a triad, quad would you consider a non-operative bisexual transsexual female a unicorn?
Here are the questions necessary to finding out if you are a unicorn:

Are you a hot, bi babe?
Are you single?
Are you sitting around pining for the fjords..er, longing for a couple to find you?
Are you waiting to find everlasting fulfillment with only that couple?

If you answered anything other than "yes" to any of those questions, then, no, you are not a unicorn. You may be some other kind of horny..um, horned beast, yet you are not one of the mythical unicorns.
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When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.

Last edited by AutumnalTone; 08-17-2011 at 06:39 PM.
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  #14  
Old 04-06-2014, 05:29 PM
rdpeete rdpeete is offline
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Definitely feel like finding a trans woman is a unicorn. My wife and I have been looking and haven't had much success... and by much success, I mean none at all. Most of the time we've found nothing but women who are purely interested in sex. We're hoping to have a group and I'd love to have a trans woman in it, but that seems highly unlikely at this point.
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  #15  
Old 04-06-2014, 06:21 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by rdpeete View Post
Definitely feel like finding a trans woman is a unicorn. My wife and I have been looking and haven't had much success... and by much success, I mean none at all. Most of the time we've found nothing but women who are purely interested in sex. We're hoping to have a group and I'd love to have a trans woman in it, but that seems highly unlikely at this point.
Uhm, what? You're looking to date a trans woman "because" she's trans? Objectifying much?

It's prioritizing her trans identity over her personal identity. Not meeting someone who "happens to be trans" and accepting her for her, but rather meeting someone to fill a role in your relationship as a status symbol.

Gross.
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  #16  
Old 04-06-2014, 07:18 PM
rdpeete rdpeete is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Uhm, what? You're looking to date a cis woman "because" she's cis? Objectifying much?

It's prioritizing her cis identity over her personal identity. Not meeting someone who "happens to be cis" and accepting her for her, but rather meeting someone to fill a role in your relationship as a status symbol.

Gross.
Notice how it looks pretentious either way?

If you want to be with a cis gendered person, you look for a cis gendered person. If you want to be with a trans person, you look for a trans person. You don't go looking for anyone and just hope you bump into them... unless your goal is to just find a person, then your odds are definitely in your favor.
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  #17  
Old 04-07-2014, 05:35 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Yep. It would be just as objectifying to look for a cis-gendered woman just because she's cis-gendered, and not for her personal qualities as a human being. Clearly you missed the point.

I'm ready to be proven wrong, if you're able to provide a non-objectifying reason why adding a trans woman just because she's trans is not tokenism?

Every trans person I know, just wants to be accepted as a person, seen as their chosen gender, and not treated like some kind of freak show who exists solely for your entertainment.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
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The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #18  
Old 04-07-2014, 08:44 PM
rdpeete rdpeete is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Yep. It would be just as objectifying to look for a cis-gendered woman just because she's cis-gendered, and not for her personal qualities as a human being. Clearly you missed the point.

I'm ready to be proven wrong, if you're able to provide a non-objectifying reason why adding a trans woman just because she's trans is not tokenism?

Every trans person I know, just wants to be accepted as a person, seen as their chosen gender, and not treated like some kind of freak show who exists solely for your entertainment.
I'm not missing the point at all; however you've jumped to a conclusion with any questioning whatsoever. I'm not just going to jump on the 1st trans woman that shows interest. Of course, the inside is more important to me than the outside. Everyone has qualities and traits that they would like for their mate to have and like everyone else, so do I. There are qualities/traits in the potential mate that they are seeking, I just happen to be seeking those qualities in a trans woman. By your logic, any other person that is looking for a mate of a specific gender is "gross". If you'd just simply ask rather than charge at me on your high horse, you would've figure that out... And for the record, I am simultaneously seeking cis gendered mates, but didn't say because it's not entirely relevant to the conversation.
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  #19  
Old 04-07-2014, 09:36 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Originally Posted by rdpeete View Post
I'm not missing the point at all; however you've jumped to a conclusion with any questioning whatsoever. I'm not just going to jump on the 1st trans woman that shows interest. Of course, the inside is more important to me than the outside.
I'm not jumping to conclusions without questioning. I did question, you didn't answer. I'll repeat: What is your non-objectifying reason for seeking a trans woman such that it is not an example of tokenism?

Quote:
By your logic, any other person that is looking for a mate of a specific gender is "gross". If you'd just simply ask rather than charge at me on your high horse, you would've figure that out... And for the record, I am simultaneously seeking cis gendered mates, but didn't say because it's not entirely relevant to the conversation.
"Trans female" is not a gender. The gender of a trans woman is female. Her biological sex is male. "Trans" means that her gender does not align with her biological sex.

Looking for a mate of a certain gender, be it female or male or genderqueer, is not gross; that's called orientation.

Looking for a mate of a certain sex, be it female or male or intersex, is also not gross; that's called sexual orientation.

Now, it is possible for a person's sexual orientation and gender orientation to not line up. Rare, but possible. In that case, you might only be attracted to female genders and male sexes. I've never actually heard of this, but I suppose it's possible. However, it does not describe you, because you have a wife (presumably cis) and you're also seeking cis males. Therefore you have demonstrated that you're perfectly fine with either sex and either gender, and so "I only date trans women" is not going to get you out of this one.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #20  
Old 04-07-2014, 11:33 PM
graviton graviton is offline
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I'm so confused.
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