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  #41  
Old 03-30-2014, 02:55 AM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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What you're describing are reasonable, dissenting opinions. I'm fine with and expect such. Especially on the internet.

What I'm referring to are labels like "douchebag" and "totally deceitful". There's no need for that in a forum for hearing out differences of opinion.
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  #42  
Old 03-30-2014, 04:22 AM
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Default No reason not to, either

If one poster paints a picture of a scenario and another member thinks certain behaviors seem "totally deceitful," that is a valid opinion. If someone here thinks that not announcing one's relationship status before a date is a "douchebag move," or something similar, there is nothing wrong with expressing it in that manner - it's just a colorful way of saying something like, "Hey, doing such-and-such is not cool and really could hurt somebody." Sheesh, we're all adults here and a lot of us like to use vulgar language.

We do not, however, allow ad hominem attacks on a specific member, like calling someone an asshole, shithead, stupid, etc. See: User Guidelines -- Part 3.
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Last edited by nycindie; 03-30-2014 at 04:25 AM.
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  #43  
Old 03-30-2014, 11:53 AM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Again, I don't mind cursing. I do it all the time.

It just seems a little.weird that someone can insult me and get defended for it. Meanwhile in another thread Im getting blasted for using a term that has.multiple meanings.

I'll drop it as I'm getting nowhere asking for a little respect.
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  #44  
Old 03-30-2014, 02:39 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Well, seeing what she said as an insult is your choice. She was offering her stance on how she views certain actions, in general, as a way to help you. I am certain the choice of words wasn't an attack on you personally. You can choose to indulge in feeling insulted or look at the feedback and see if it has validity.
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  #45  
Old 03-30-2014, 05:04 PM
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Ha, I spent a week on okc iming with a guy who just didn't get I was poly. My profile says, Open Relationship AND Non-mongamous, OK? I mention in the 2nd paragraph of the first section "about me," that I have a live-in gf and a bf who lives nearby.

This guy just didn't get it. He asked why my bf looked at his profile (I almost always send a link of ppl I am talking to, to Ginger, he enjoys it). I said, he's a good poly bf, he's looking out for me. No, he isn't jealous.

A few days later he accused me of cheating: "You have a steady bf and yet you're looking to date others." The hell? Where does my profile say I am not dating ethically? Sheesh. Finally I called it all off, he was just seeming dumb and dumber. Then he says, "I don't need men looking at my profile." I guess that weirded him out a lot! lol So when I told Ginger that, he went and looked at the guy's profile again, just because.

Then the guy msged me to complain Ginger had looked at him again, saying, "Is he jealous?"

So, my point is, even when you have banners and neon signs proclaiming your polyamory, some mono people just insist you're just a cheating whore.
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  #46  
Old 03-30-2014, 05:12 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Well, seeing what she said as an insult is your choice. She was offering her stance on how she views certain actions, in general, as a way to help you. I am certain the choice of words wasn't an attack on you personally. You can choose to indulge in feeling insulted or look at the feedback and see if it has validity.
So someone says, in a posting right after mine, that the exact actions I'm describing that a partner has done is ďa douchebag move" and everything's just hunky dory? And im just the one being overly sensitive?

Wow. OK. Where were you in the thread where someone's telling me I'm being disrespectful? How about a little even time?
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  #47  
Old 03-30-2014, 08:32 PM
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There is a huge difference between calling a person a derogatory term, like "breeder," and saying a person's actions are dishonest, deceitful, or douchey, in someone else's opinion.

But this thread really needs to get back on topic. More arguing will only result in closing it to additional replies. Besides, this topic has been discussed numerous times before. If you're still interested in learning others' views on when people think one should disclose their poly status, use the Advanced Search feature and try some keywords.
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  #48  
Old 03-31-2014, 12:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Ha, I spent a week on okc iming with a guy who just didn't get I was poly. My profile says, Open Relationship AND Non-mongamous, OK? I mention in the 2nd paragraph of the first section "about me," that I have a live-in gf and a bf who lives nearby.

This guy just didn't get it. He asked why my bf looked at his profile (I almost always send a link of ppl I am talking to, to Ginger, he enjoys it). I said, he's a good poly bf, he's looking out for me. No, he isn't jealous.

A few days later he accused me of cheating: "You have a steady bf and yet you're looking to date others." The hell? Where does my profile say I am not dating ethically? Sheesh. Finally I called it all off, he was just seeming dumb and dumber. Then he says, "I don't need men looking at my profile." I guess that weirded him out a lot! lol So when I told Ginger that, he went and looked at the guy's profile again, just because.

Then the guy msged me to complain Ginger had looked at him again, saying, "Is he jealous?"

So, my point is, even when you have banners and neon signs proclaiming your polyamory, some mono people just insist you're just a cheating whore.


This mostly sounds like a case of you can't fix stupid!
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  #49  
Old 04-01-2014, 07:25 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is online now
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Yeah, in the past few months I have received zero messages, but several guys a day "like" me. At first I would check out their profile and send messages to some (although most, well, it was obvious they hadn't read mine. Their profiles were pretty much a list of everything that wasn't me being what they were looking for).

But I never got messages back, so now I don't bother. If they actually want to talk to me, they'll have to send a message, not just "like" me. Frustrating though. Several of them a day and not one willing to send even a couple sentences.
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  #50  
Old 04-03-2014, 02:28 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
Yeah, in the past few months I have received zero messages, but several guys a day "like" me. At first I would check out their profile and send messages to some (although most, well, it was obvious they hadn't read mine. Their profiles were pretty much a list of everything that wasn't me being what they were looking for).

But I never got messages back, so now I don't bother. If they actually want to talk to me, they'll have to send a message, not just "like" me. Frustrating though. Several of them a day and not one willing to send even a couple sentences.
Don't give up, Tonberry. I wrote to Ginger because he'd 4 or 5-starred me, and here we are, 2 1/3 years later, still together. I also sometimes 4 or 5-star men who end up writing to me, and we might have interesting conversations, at least.

I am not saying to message boring men who star you, but there can be rewards from messaging interesting men who star you, or from starring interesting (poly or poly friendly) men.
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