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  #31  
Old 03-29-2014, 06:35 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I have never reached polysaturation. I think it would depend on my partners and the kind of relationship that would work for them. I can see myself with 2 or 3 marriage-like relationships at once, but probably not more, however I can imagine having more partners if they're of a less involved kind, we don't live together, etc.
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  #32  
Old 03-29-2014, 02:59 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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How about life saturation...

I have 2 partners, 1 best friend/metamour. We all live together with 3 of their kids and 1 of mine. I work full time...

I am just saturated. Any spare time I have I try to bike, hike, kayak, get the fuck out of the house and away from people... anything.. last thing on my mind is another romantic relationship.

Only thing I could take on is a casual fling.. I have 0 interest in, and 0 energy for another romantic relationship.

I try to put some of my life into things besides romance or relationships. Work is a 3rd of my life, sleep is a .. 3rdish of my life. The other 3rd can't be all about relationships. I need time for myself.. to find my zen.. to huck myself off of mountains and climb a tree.. Helps me keep my sanity to be a better me in my current relationships.
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  #33  
Old 03-30-2014, 11:55 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Currently with 2 live-in partners, a girlfriend we see several times a month for a few days at a time and some occasional FWB.

For me, live-in partners and FWBs fit my life best. The "girlfriend", who has her own place (with her husband), is new for me...requires scheduling and compromise, especially as she is also seeing my two live-in partners, so we have to schedule "alone" time as well.

2-3 "serious" interests seems to be a practical limit in terms of day-to-day time...but I would be open to more casual FWBs (where we get together once a month or less, as time provides).

A major limit for me - I don't really like anything other than FTF interactions - I don't do phone very well, although I can do a few txts a day as long as we aren't trying to have a real conversation. So any "occasional" person would have to be ok with long stretches without contact.

On the other hand I am, and always have been, completely satisfied with my life the way it is. Never "looking" but always "open" to new situations...things have a way of working themselves out...

JaneQ

PS. It probably helps, scheduling-wise, that I don't have kids or too many "other friends" that are vying for my time. My work takes up the vast majority of my "not-home" time.
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MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (22+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 03-30-2014 at 11:58 PM.
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  #34  
Old 04-01-2014, 04:29 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
A major limit for me - I don't really like anything other than FTF interactions - I don't do phone very well, although I can do a few txts a day as long as we aren't trying to have a real conversation. So any "occasional" person would have to be ok with long stretches without contact.
Ooo good point. I never thought of it that way, but I'm the same way. I get bored very quickly on the phone. Gralson and I speak daily when he's on the road, but usually it's me blathering on about nothing for 5 minutes until I've described everything I did that day, and then it's dead silence while neither of us can think of anything to say, until one of us puts us both out of our misery.

Auto and I send little update texts every now and then, usually if something interesting or annoying happens. We never talk on the phone. We have our best conversations in person.
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The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #35  
Old 04-01-2014, 08:31 AM
Eponine Eponine is offline
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Ooo good point. I never thought of it that way, but I'm the same way. I get bored very quickly on the phone. Gralson and I speak daily when he's on the road, but usually it's me blathering on about nothing for 5 minutes until I've described everything I did that day, and then it's dead silence while neither of us can think of anything to say, until one of us puts us both out of our misery.

Auto and I send little update texts every now and then, usually if something interesting or annoying happens. We never talk on the phone. We have our best conversations in person.
I'm also terrible with the phone. Not a fan of texting either. However, I LOVE emails. My triad with A and L (as well as my previous one-on-one relationship with A) thrives on emailing. We don't talk on the phone or do real-time chat. We all express ourselves best when we have time to organize our thoughts.

When I was long-distance with G, we used emails first, and then primarily used IM (sometimes video chat). I'm okay with IM, but I have to be very close to the person. I'd be totally comfortable chatting with A and L, but we're all pretty content with emails.

Of course, face-to-face would be ideal. But if that's not possible, I can be pretty happy with emailing and/or chatting, but definitely not phone.
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  #36  
Old 04-01-2014, 12:54 PM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Not much to add to the original topic: Chops is struggling to make time for himself, since he's pretty much scheduled 50% of his time with me and 50% with Xena, leaving 0% for himself. He's trying to pull some time here and there without making things difficult, and "Quality Time" girl over here (me) struggles with that when it would be one of our days together.

It's a work in progress - he's working on trying to do more for himself, and I'm trying to be less apprehensive about "losing time" with him. Friday night will test that...

I really just came here, though, to say I'm glad I'm not the only non-phone-talker. I talk with Chops, and once in a while my mom. Otherwise, I prefer non-phone interactions, even at work. Emails, texting, F2F... all MUCH more preferable to me. Glad it's not THAT uncommon a neurosis.
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Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 11), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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  #37  
Old 04-01-2014, 09:12 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I definitely prefer quality over quantity. I would rather have a partner take the time they need for themselves, so when they do see me, they're refreshed and feeling able to give more. If they aren't taking time for themself, then they'll be a drain on my own reserves, and that won't be a positive experience for any of us. The last thing I want, when someone is with me, is that they wish they were somewhere else.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #38  
Old 04-02-2014, 04:22 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YouAreHere View Post
I really just came here, though, to say I'm glad I'm not the only non-phone-talker. I talk with Chops, and once in a while my mom. Otherwise, I prefer non-phone interactions, even at work. Emails, texting, F2F... all MUCH more preferable to me. Glad it's not THAT uncommon a neurosis.
M absolutely detests talking on the phone. If it's not a text or an email, it better be pretty insanely important. Phone calls are nigh unto emergencies for her. Or if she just really wants to make sure she gets through in a hurry. Personally, I'm texting a lot more than I did, but enjoy phone calls when appropriate.
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Last edited by vanquish; 04-02-2014 at 04:35 PM.
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  #39  
Old 04-02-2014, 06:17 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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I hate phone calls as well. But unlike some of you, I also really dislike face to face. I'm most comfortable in IMs, then texts, then emails. After that, face to face and then phone.

Now, if I'm in a serious relationship with someone, chances are I'm comfortable enough with them to enjoy spending time face-to-face. But that will have required a lot of IM communication to get to that point.
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  #40  
Old 04-02-2014, 06:45 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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I find that I can't really get to know someone through IM. I've met people after spending weeks talking to them online, and then at the first meeting I realize we're completely incompatible. For me, there's a certain energy that just doesn't translate to text. If that energy's not there, then there's nothing. I don't form that connection very easily, so I'm not at a high risk of polysursaturation...
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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