Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-02-2014, 06:39 PM
JustUs JustUs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 71
Default Buying a house

We are currently looking to buy a new house that better fits a V poly group. Its myself, my wife and her boyfriend.
Question is, how much do you tell your realtor about the arrangement, if anything at all...And I know it is probably pretty obvious to our realtor that we intend to all live together, as we have looked at several houses together the past couple of weeks.
And other obvious give aways are that we are looking primarily at houses with 4-5 bedrooms, 3 full baths, preferably houses with 2 master bedrooms or an inlaw suite within the house.
Just curious if others have looked at buying houses together and how much you told your realtor. Just an FYI, we have built a pretty good relationship with our realtor since we have started looking...but curious of what others have put out there when house hunting.
__________________
The characters in another chapter we call life!
T - Wife - hinge in Poly V
J - Husband Poly
F - T's Boyfriend Poly (good friend of J's)
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-02-2014, 06:51 PM
Dagferi's Avatar
Dagferi Dagferi is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,081
Default

Who cares what they think.

Really it is none of their business. Plus any good realtor is just concerned about making clients happy and getting a commission check.

Make sure you have a good contract in place between you three in case of dissolution of one or more of the relationships if the BF is going to be on the mortgage out deed.
__________________
40 yo straight female
Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-02-2014, 07:11 PM
JustUs JustUs is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 71
Default

That is very true! And that is really what our realtor is doing actually.
Most definitely a contract between the 3 of us in the event of a break up and even in the event of death, already been discussed and all agree it is a must.
__________________
The characters in another chapter we call life!
T - Wife - hinge in Poly V
J - Husband Poly
F - T's Boyfriend Poly (good friend of J's)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-02-2014, 07:47 PM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 577
Default

I don't see where 4 to 5 bedroom houses or a mother in law apartment is a giveaway of anything. I can think of all sorts of situations where three people would buy such a house together.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-03-2014, 11:39 PM
GreenAcres GreenAcres is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 65
Default

JustUs,

Also, check your state laws before you buy. This may be where your Realtor can help you. In some states, cohabiting together for a certain period means common-law marriage, which can muck up a contract no matter what. Or (and I don't know your relationship arrangement), if two of you are already/ever legally married, in some states that can also override contracts.

The Realtor may be able to help you figure out how to best go about making sure these things aren't issues, or addressed adequately if they apply.

Have fun house-hunting!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-03-2014, 11:56 PM
calypsoblu calypsoblu is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Gold Canyon, Arizona
Posts: 45
Default

We just purchased our home Oct of last year we did not tell our realitor anything about our relationship status..it is really none of their business. Now, qualifying everyone for the same mortgage may be tricky due to credit circumstances, in tht case, as we did, the mortgage is in my husbands name only, the home (deed) has all our names on it with the county we live in..in case of death, whomever left alive has right to the home.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-17-2014, 09:49 PM
Oldpolyman's Avatar
Oldpolyman Oldpolyman is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Usually on the East Coast
Posts: 52
Default

One of our acquaintances, who has 4 wives, bought a large house, by setting up their family business as a corporation. They are listed as equal shareholders, and the corp bought and owns the house.
Hugs
__________________
I try to love my wives this way, unconditionally! Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her. Eph. 5:25
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-27-2014, 11:38 AM
RedPanda's Avatar
RedPanda RedPanda is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 47
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustUs View Post
We are currently looking to buy a new house that better fits a V poly group. Its myself, my wife and her boyfriend.
Question is, how much do you tell your realtor about the arrangement, if anything at all...And I know it is probably pretty obvious to our realtor that we intend to all live together, as we have looked at several houses together the past couple of weeks.
And other obvious give aways are that we are looking primarily at houses with 4-5 bedrooms, 3 full baths, preferably houses with 2 master bedrooms or an inlaw suite within the house.
Just curious if others have looked at buying houses together and how much you told your realtor. Just an FYI, we have built a pretty good relationship with our realtor since we have started looking...but curious of what others have put out there when house hunting.
The realtor is irrelevant. The PROBLEM you will run into is when it comes time to finance the house. Depending on which state you're in, there are going to be different expectations. In more stuffy/conservative (backwards) states, they will be operating under the expectation of strict nuclear family households. However, in more expensive and progressive states (like California) multiple people going in on a mortgage is more common.

The biggest question is this; who's going to finance the house and how? Many lenders will just sort of go the other way if you ask about a third cosigner. I had one say "Ugh, that never really works" and never call me back. So I dumped him and the real estate agent he was working with.

Chief point of advice; find a lender that will work with you first. Also consider this arrangement: everyone share one master suite but then have a "guest bedroom" set up for whenever one partnership wants alone time (or brings over someone new).
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-27-2014, 01:17 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 375
Default

Another possibility for financing a home in this situation in a conservative area is forming an LLC or some other legal grouping with you three as members. Then have the LLC be the party that finances/buys the house.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
NT: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: NT and Merry girlfriend
Umbra: Elle's Dom
Pet: Umbra's slave/wife, Elle girlfriend
Domo: Pet's submissive
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-27-2014, 01:37 PM
RedPanda's Avatar
RedPanda RedPanda is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 47
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CattivaGattina View Post
Another possibility for financing a home in this situation in a conservative area is forming an LLC or some other legal grouping with you three as members. Then have the LLC be the party that finances/buys the house.
I've seen people doing this but you have to be careful because, technically, you'd be using the purchased property for personal use. In most cases this isn't a problem but if the wrong people come snooping it can raise some red flags. Also, you'll have to be prepared to spend more on attorney's fees to draw up the contracts and make sure everything is in order and on the level for the LLC.

http://www.oakparkforeclosurelawyer....under-llc.html

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/...66880677842280
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 07:27 PM.