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Old 03-13-2014, 12:30 AM
Vicki82 Vicki82 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Niagara Falls, NY
Posts: 208

I think I need to spend some time examining my thoughts. Comments/feedback definitely appreciated on this post.

I suppose that I have always possessed an unconscious or semiconscious bias towards people who are intelligent and well educated. I never considered myself being friends with or spending time with someone who wasn't, but it wasn't something I thought about. I just didn't spend time with people outside my social sphere.

The more time I spend with J, the better we get to know each other, which is awesome. We've been chatting as well as enjoying our D/s and BDSM play.

If I had seen all the things I know about him in a dating profile on OKC, for example, I'd have dismissed him out of hand as a poor fit. He smokes, both cigarettes and pot (although he says he's quitting smoking for me and I believe him), he lives in his sister's basement, and he's a high school dropout with a dead end job. There is nothing in that that I could possibly find appealing.

But he's not the kind of guy I picture when I think of all those things. So am I stereotyping "that kind of person"? I don't really know. I know the qualities I'm drawn to, and he's got them. I'm not looking for a primary relationship or I know some of these things would be a dealbreaker. But some of them don't really matter to me as a secondary, and I genuinely like him, which I guess surprises me under the circumstances.

We enjoy each other's company in leisure time, play games together, watch movies, and can make conversation just hanging out. And the D/s and BDSM energy between us is fantastic, intense, and a lot of fun.

So I guess I'm just feeling confused. Not sure if I'm confused because my (mis)conceptions are being challenged, or if these are flags I should be paying attention to, or if I'm just feeling funny today.

I guess to pin it all down... I like J. I enjoy spending time with him. I enjoy being in a relationship with him. But I feel like I shouldn't. My base reaction is that I'm "out of his league", and even typing that repells me. I never thought that I had prejudices like this.

I'm going to continue dating him, because I enjoy him as a person. He's not anything like what I thought someone in his situation would be like, and I want to continue getting to know him. Just wanted to shake some of the cobwebs out of my head.
Me: 34 yrs, poly pansexual Dominant female.
My People:
Henry, 30yrs, my collared submissive, cohabitating. Currently no other partners.
Kiddo, my 6 year old son
Mark/StbxH, my exhusband of ten years, finally divorced.
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