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  #11  
Old 03-09-2014, 02:51 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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If/when you talk to GaW, have you thought about how you're going to sell her on poly? What's the benefit to her of dating someone already in a committed relationship?
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  #12  
Old 03-09-2014, 03:03 AM
Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
If/when you talk to GaW, have you thought about how you're going to sell her on poly? What's the benefit to her of dating someone already in a committed relationship?
Well, if she has feelings for me too, then I'm hoping she'll say yes to the whole thing. Of course I'm going to explain to her that I'm poly and that my gf is okay with me going after another relationship. I'm trying to sell her on ME, not polyamory.
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Old 03-09-2014, 03:21 AM
WhatHappened WhatHappened is offline
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Originally Posted by Tiberius View Post
I'm trying to sell her on ME, not polyamory.
And yet, she'd be agreeing not only to you, but also to polyamory. Most people, when they enter a relationship, are prone to things like falling in love, which not always, but typically, leads to wanting more with that person: commitment, long term, living together, mingling finances, possibly children, vacations together, sharing lives, being part of one another's families and circle of friends.

How much of this can you offer her as a possibility? How much of it do you think she is seeking out of a relationship?
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  #14  
Old 03-09-2014, 03:34 AM
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Presumably GaW would be free to seek other partner/s in addition to Tiberius. Tiberius could be a "secondary" partner to GaW, while another partner could be her "primary."

Or GaW and Tiberius' existing girlfriend could share primary roles in his life. The three of them would need to negotiate that if they were all three interested in it.

And there's this bit of perspective: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showt...626#post257626

None of this is to say that polyamory would be GaW's thing. That's up to her. The simplest way to pursue the ideal white picket fence is, I'm sure, to remain strictly monogamous.
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Old 03-09-2014, 05:09 AM
Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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Originally Posted by WhatHappened View Post
And yet, she'd be agreeing not only to you, but also to polyamory.
Not quite. Any other partner apart from my gf would have to accept that I am poly, but I wouldn't expect that she also be poly. My gf isn't poly, for example, but she accepts that I am.

Quote:
Most people, when they enter a relationship, are prone to things like falling in love, which not always, but typically, leads to wanting more with that person: commitment, long term, living together, mingling finances, possibly children, vacations together, sharing lives, being part of one another's families and circle of friends.

How much of this can you offer her as a possibility? How much of it do you think she is seeking out of a relationship?
This logic would seem to suggest that no poly relationship could ever work, and yet this website is proof that just isn't true.
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  #16  
Old 03-09-2014, 05:11 AM
Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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Originally Posted by kdt26417 View Post
Presumably GaW would be free to seek other partner/s in addition to Tiberius. Tiberius could be a "secondary" partner to GaW, while another partner could be her "primary."
Exactly. I mean, my gf isn't poly, but if she decided to try it and see if it worked for her, I wouldn't be upset. Same with GaW.

Quote:
Or GaW and Tiberius' existing girlfriend could share primary roles in his life. The three of them would need to negotiate that if they were all three interested in it.
Again, I fully agree. Any relationship I may end up in with GaW will mean I have to be open and honest and communicating about it all between GaW and my gf.
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  #17  
Old 03-11-2014, 03:38 AM
Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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Spent a few hours with GaW yesterday evening. Not like a date or anything, but she was working and I popped in to visit (the nature of our work has us working alone for the most part). Got some dinner and had a good chat. Also sat with my arm around her shoulders too, so I'm taking it as evidence that she likes me. And she was in a bit of a bad mood when I popped in, and I helped her feel better.

So looking up, I think.
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  #18  
Old 03-11-2014, 08:08 PM
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Glad to hear that.
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  #19  
Old 03-14-2014, 12:29 PM
Tiberius Tiberius is offline
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I've decided that next time I see GaW outside of the work environment, when we can arrange something like getting together for the day, I'm going to ask her out. Hopefully this will also give me a chance to tell her about the whole poly thing too. Not sure when it will be though; we're probably not going to be able to see each other until the beginning of next week. :S Hopefully she'll say yes.

BTW, could a mod move this to the life stories/blogs area? It's developing more into that sort of thread...
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  #20  
Old 03-15-2014, 01:15 AM
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Sometimes this sort of thing will escape the mods' notice, so you might want to contact one of them directly: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showgroups.php

So you are thinking of asking GaW out on an all-day type of a date, eh? How much does she know so far, does she know you already have a girlfriend?
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