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  #31  
Old 11-27-2013, 05:14 PM
sterling119 sterling119 is offline
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Idealst, I have tried to find someone else with her blessing.....no luck!! Seems it is a very hard thing to find. I have tried to meet people, online web sites...you name it but not anyone. I am starting to get a complex.....lol. If it were ment to be and happened I would welcome it for sure but for now I am just getting along with the way things are. She is happy, he is happy and I am ok with it and for the most part happy although I do sometimes feel left out when they are away or spending nights together. I think the fact that we are all friends makes it better though so we will have to see where things lead.
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  #32  
Old 11-28-2013, 06:49 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sterling119 View Post
Idealst, I have tried to find someone else with her blessing.....no luck!! Seems it is a very hard thing to find. I have tried to meet people, online web sites...you name it but not anyone. I am starting to get a complex.....lol. If it were ment to be and happened I would welcome it for sure but for now I am just getting along with the way things are. She is happy, he is happy and I am ok with it and for the most part happy although I do sometimes feel left out when they are away or spending nights together. I think the fact that we are all friends makes it better though so we will have to see where things lead.
Compersion for another person's joy is a powerful feeling, and it may keep giving you enough feelings of satisfaction that won't leave you 'lonely'. I found over the years that being alone was rather pleasant almost every time it happened. Never felt lonely once the initial adjustment to poly living happened. Still have the same feeling, and frankly I always looked forward to my own time when a partner and their SO spent time together. Came to eagerly look forward to it (bachelor living is awesome when youre not a bachelor anymore!). You seem similar, as in I think you'll find it the same way after a while.

While I can have as many partners as I want, the thrill of the pursuit of new love is less interesting to me than my own passions and interests right now. If one comes along, great, but I don't care if it doesn't.
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  #33  
Old 12-17-2013, 04:02 AM
sterling119 sterling119 is offline
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Default the wheels are falling off here

Well, again it has been a while but this time there is some bad news for all involved.....It seems J also had another woman he was seeing that he also had a past with. We kinda new he was with her some and D was up and down about it but long story short...too many details to go into without boring everyone. This other woman found out about the poly v we had and he is moving out this weekend when he gets back. I think I am taking it harder then D is she just said as long as we have our love for eachother it is good and just not ment to be with J. I have a feeling friday is going to be interesting with him moving out unless something changes. I will post again soon.
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  #34  
Old 12-23-2013, 09:44 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Why does he have to move out just because his other gf knows about you?
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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  #35  
Old 12-29-2013, 12:09 AM
Leedia Leedia is offline
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I'm so sorry. Hopefully you three (or four) can work something out but that is a blow to your trust in him. Thank you for writing about your lives. My husband and I are considering poly and your experiences are a great model for us.
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  #36  
Old 02-24-2014, 09:30 PM
sterling119 sterling119 is offline
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Hello all, it has been a long time since the last post but thought I would finally update. J moved out, came back to get the rest of his things and we have not seen him since. D is ok with it since our love is strong and non ending for eachother. We have finally fallen back into our normal lives. We both wish it had worked out better but J just didn't choose our life together over his other life. Maybe too soon after his divorce, maybe just too much for him to comprehend...not sure there but although D and missed him and I missed seeing her that happy in the good times it is all good, we are doing well and still very much in love. Would we do it again...maybe if things were different. We have talked about the possibility but have not acted on it. We would be open to finding a female over a male if it happens again so we will see how life goes for us. Hard to believe things went from great to over that fast but guess thats the way life is sometimes. It was more about sex for J then the love and family that we are about. Please don't let this influence others to not try it....the only regret we have is that it had to end the way it did. We both wish J had been more in love then in lust but we will know if it happens again. Thanks for all the support from the readers of the blog...
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  #37  
Old 02-28-2014, 03:31 AM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Thanks for letting us know what's going on! I have enjoyed following your posts and I was wondering how things were going! Please keep us updated as you move forward in your life together!
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