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  #101  
Old 02-27-2014, 02:20 AM
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Hmmm ... well I suppose an evasive reply is better than no reply. Still, it seems to me that there must be something she doesn't (yet?) want you to know ...
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  #102  
Old 02-27-2014, 03:17 AM
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I'm pretty sure I jumped the gun, that she is simply going through an introspective phase and doesn't know how to communicate about it. It's fucked up. I talked to her husband.

I didn't jump the gun on my emotions though. What bothers me is legitimate. I could have just waited, the willing sex slave, ready to please my mistress at her whim. What I would have given a year ago to even have that option. And to think that I might have just blown it. But I can't just be put on hold like that without any communication. That's not fair.
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  #103  
Old 02-27-2014, 07:00 AM
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Well if she doesn't know how to communicate about it ... I'm just sayin'.

I do tend to think monkeystyle guessed correctly when he said A and J "bit off more than they could chew." Polyamory tends to demand good communication skills, and A has proven to be inadequate for that task -- for the moment. Hopefully this will be a learning experience for her and she'll be better at communicating in the future.

I think that as a relationship continues to mature over time, you start to test its boundaries if you feel like one or more of your own needs isn't (yet) being met therein. You want to know if some of the terms can be renegotiated. I think this is a normal part of the development of a relationship, and should not have to spell the end of it. That's just my opinion though of course. A will have her own opinion, and we'll just have to wait to find out what that is.
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  #104  
Old 02-27-2014, 12:34 PM
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All I want is you but I don't want you to come back.

We really loved. We were all the way there with hearts wide open and now I can't bear the thought of just having a part of you.

You could make it all better. Hold me in your arms and let my tears wash it all away. Perhaps you'd shed a tear too.

But now I know that you can go away. Without a word. Without a thought to how that cuts me to pieces.

Why would I want you back again? To adore the beauty of your face as you talk? For the many, many things that you know warm my heart?

I say don't come back. I know I would just love you. It's all I ever did was love you. It would be the same. Everything forgiven.

But don't come back. I'm broken now and I love you too much to hand you the burden of putting my pieces back together.

Don't come back. I love you.
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  #105  
Old 02-27-2014, 10:42 PM
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Don't know if it's officially poetry but that sure sounded like good poetry to me.

Sorry you're going through this.
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  #106  
Old 03-31-2014, 12:25 AM
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The final word is that I created too much drama and she hates me for it.
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  #107  
Old 03-31-2014, 05:41 AM
monkeystyle monkeystyle is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pcflvly View Post
The final word is that I created too much drama and she hates me for it.
So that's a self-serving viewpoint to deflect personal responsibility away from themselves. I think in the end you're lucky this is over. Had it gone down a deeper path before crumbling - your suffering would've been even worse. Though I suspect you've been put the ringer enough as it is.

I hope they don't try this again with another guy, I can't imagine the outcome will be much different until they have a more mature way of handling their issues.
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  #108  
Old 03-31-2014, 06:48 AM
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Damn your previous post made me cry. My thoughts exactly. Thank you for those words.
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  #109  
Old 03-31-2014, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
a self-serving viewpoint to deflect personal responsibility away from themselves.
As much as I would tend to be the martyr in a situation like this, I have to agree. Her charge of drama does have some validity but I think that given the strong feelings we had for each other, that my reactions were understandable. (this thread is a true record) I don't want to guess at her motivations but I wish she had had the integrity to just spell it out. I have dumped people myself. I broke up with a girl to go with her and I was just as cold. I did not have as strong of a connection with the other girl but didn't really care if she knew exactly why I was breaking up with her. I feel like there are some similarities here.

If you remember, I started this thread with, "I'm almost fifty and thought I would never even have another relationship." I still have those fears despite evidence to the contrary. These past three weeks have been flirtatious to say the least. I've been adored, loved, confided in, respected, and approached for my wisdom. I have certain proof of my likability and continued options. Seriously, I met at least 15 solid flirts in the past three weeks. I danced with women, gave massages, cuddled, had sex, sat up in the middle of the night with a girl who really needed a friend, talked polyamory with a sex goddess, and walked around the lake with the prettiest young woman. My love life is far from over. (and these past three weeks should be a book)

Metaphorically, we say that we give our hearts to someone and I really gave her my heart. Nobody I've met recently even comes close. How do I get my heart back? Rieki therapy?

Copperhead, here are a few more words for your tear ducts. A little something I wrote the other day.
~~~~~
He saw her for five delicious months. She gave so much of herself, just about everything. The one thing she couldn't give was her whole life.

He had just wanted the moments, each of which felt eternal, but with so many desires satisfied, he wanted more.

She had already given all she could and didn't have anymore to give. That caused the break that he didn't ever want to happen.

For him having everything and wanting more, all was lost.

Now he drifts on and life goes on. He's still as charismatic as ever and women are easy for him but they don't matter. They're not her.
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  #110  
Old 03-31-2014, 05:28 PM
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You probably need a mourning period to get past this heartbreak. Time is sometimes the one true healer in a case like this.
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