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Old 02-25-2014, 05:04 AM
asmile asmile is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveBunny View Post
You're not clingy, telling yourself that is self-defeating. At 21, you're not fully formed yet!...You have a whole lifetime ahead of you for seducing and being seduced.
I hope I am at least a little bit formed But that being said, I do understand that that I am young, and have a lot to learn. I have already learned so much about myself and have definitely grown significantly through this. Though I can't say I am not looking forward to more seducing all around. That sounds okay with me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
Not to be a creeper, but...
Of course you are a creeper. But that is okay

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hmm View Post
Watching her slowly mature from her clingy, lonely, insecure self has been rewarding for me. I just hope I am not being a bad person by not loving her "the way she is". Then again, poly is about loving someone's personal growth right?
I know we have talked about this together, but since we are now throwing this out to other people I figured I would comment here as well. As we talked about, I think that taking a bit of a break from the self-betterment train is a good step for a little while. I think there needs to be a balance of wanting to see improvement, while also simply appreciating the person for who they are or “the way she is”. Both are important, and one cannot over step the other. To much towards the “fixing” mindset can feel very draining and like I am not good enough, while I don’t want to just sit back and stop striving for personal growth. Got to find the balance

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Those expectations that are placed on us by the larger society in which we live, the smaller cultures we regularly interact within, our families, and so on, are extremely hard to shake… There are expectations about what a relationship should look like, expectations about the direction a relationship should take, expectations about what women should want in relationships, expectations about what men should want, expectations about sex, about what is healthy communication and what should be kept to oneself, expectations about the the proper "role" of a partner, expectations about one's age and experience, blablablabla... gag!
Preach it! This is a great way of putting it. Part of the reason I was initially open to the idea of poly was because of how much I believe this to be a huge problem in our society. I think the control these perceived expectations have over us is incredibly powerful, and often invisible. My rational side has been able to see and understand this, but overtime I have let that side of me slip some. I have let society’s expectations start to shape what I think that I want, when in reality, I believe I am happy with the way it is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Expectations are the ultimate buzzkill, because they distort reality and take us out of the present. And, if you think about it, the present moment is actually all we ever have.
This is so true. We have to just appreciate what we have, and enjoy the present. You can’t change the past, nor should you live in the future. Just live in the present.
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