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Old 02-20-2014, 05:09 AM
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Originally Posted by bofish View Post
I do thing being single is inherently poly, because most people date lots of people until they "settle down." But I, personally, would;t date a married poly guy if I wanted a primary partner, it seems too painful.
Most often, "polyamory" describes being in multiple relationships. While strictly speaking, the word means "many loves," we generally only consider those that have gotten past some arbitrary threshold. Casual relationships are still relationships, but someone with whom you've gone on a couple dates are not.

So by that understanding, single people are neither mono nor poly. They're single, not in any relationship. It's only once they settle down, in some sense of the word, that the distinction between poly and mono has any real significance.

However, single people do have a tendency or preference towards one type of configuration or another. People who have a tendency to form mono relationships would not be described as "poly" simply because they've gone on first dates with two different people in the same week. They have the understanding that as soon as they "click" with someone, they'll discontinue dating others. Poly people do not have this understanding. If they click with someone, they'll develop that relationship, but they'll probably maintain the others as well.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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