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  #11  
Old 02-08-2014, 06:26 AM
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Emm Emm is offline
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Originally Posted by civfan View Post
... but if you'd really just prefer sex on the side with hopefully less drama you may would rather consider adding a secondary.
Really? Sex on the side? That strikes me as hugely disrespectful of non-primary partners.
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  #12  
Old 02-08-2014, 06:30 AM
civfan civfan is offline
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Sorry I just started today, I think I should refrain from trying to give out any advice, just man to man talk I get from male co workers all the time.
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  #13  
Old 02-08-2014, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by civfan View Post
Sorry I just started today, I think I should refrain from trying to give out any advice, just man to man talk I get from male co workers all the time.
Your Co workers would be lucky to have any partner if that is the advice they give.

I bet if their wives knew what they said or were present they wouldn't be dishing out such bs.
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Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #14  
Old 02-15-2014, 08:13 PM
Sandy2u Sandy2u is offline
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Default This sounds a bit like us

I lived with my best friend and her family while I was going through a break up and then as a single mom of a two year old. One day we joked about just becoming poly, a few days later we realized we were in love and not joking, and a month later we were a triad, raising three amazing kids together. We both stay home and take care of babies, the house, and eventual livestock. One offhand comment gave me a life I only could have dreamed of, and all six of us are better for it. Good luck.
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  #15  
Old 02-18-2014, 11:06 PM
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A quick update, we have been talking “C” very often. “B” awoke yesterday, to feelings of doubt. She was letting “what – if’s” bring her down. She and I spoke about it all morning, which I think helped her somewhat. I then left for work and she spoke to “C” about it all. She wanted to be sure that C knew how she was feeling about this. It started with a text that said “Hey babe I need to talk to you. I am having a rough time today, but I am in no way backing out of this relationship. I just have some concerns.”

The two of them spoke very deeply about reservations that they each have. B opened up about a fear of me and C falling in love and leaving her. C reassured B that she was in no way interested in either her or me without the other. She stated that she was only interested in this relationship if we all five were involved (us 3 and our two children). The answers she gave reassured both, B and I, which C is undoubtedly in this for the right reasons. B was very happy that she spoke with C about this. After their talk, B said “a lot of weight was lifted off my shoulders”.

C then expressed two concerns of her own. The first was about her family. She wanted to keep this relationship from her family, for the time being. Her family is very Christian and controlling of her in some ways. She knows that the news of this relationship will, without a doubt, interfere with relationship with her parents. She doesn’t want to drive a wedge in their relationship, which is completely understandable. We all agreed to keep this from her family and even some of B’s family. Later down the road, when our relationship grows, we will revisit this agreement.

Secondly, C expressed her concern about her. That is, what if one day she falls in love with someone else. B and I had already discussed this before and we relayed to C what we came up with. We let her know that she is not now nor would she ever be a prisoner of this relationship. She reassured us that she was in this relationship 100% and never for a second look for that. I believe that she was wondering in case of “a prince charming/love at first sight” situation arose. We expressed to her that we expect commitment and that cheating would not be tolerated by any of us.

I believe that if any of us become unhappy with this relationship or with others, then that person should leave and find the happiness they deserve and/or desire. On the contrary, I believe that it is the duty of the other two persons to keep each of us happy and re-falling in love with each other.

Having us all on the same page leaves us each with a peace of mind. We are trying to get together and hang out more, but for unnamed reasons we haven’t been able to so. We do speak to each other many times daily.
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