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  #71  
Old 02-17-2014, 04:15 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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MonkeyStyle,

Thanks for you comment. I actually thought it was cool that American Horror Story used the Geraldo expose (pretty much quoting it). I am deeply involved in archiving - what bothered me was not giving credit to it.

What also bothers me is the lack of education about the disabilities rights movement. Everyone is taught about the Holocaust, Slavery, Segregation, and Stonewall. I would just like things like Willowbrook and heroes like Ed Roberts, the independent living movement and so on to be in public consciousness.
And part of our education system.

You mention that there was probably not a Nazi doctor at Willowbrook - but did you know that there were Nazi-like studies? They were injecting patients with hepitas to do experiments on them. It is also well-documented that the Eugnenics movement actually BEGAN in the US. It began with the force sterilization of people with disabilities, and was propagated be Margreat Sanger --also the pro-choice community and disabled community are at odds because people use abortion as method of filtering out children with disabilities - although this is a complex issue, I have yet to meet a pro-choice person who will even discuss the topic.

I, myself, am more or less pro-choice, but I believe that we should change the negative perception of PWD so that abortion to someone with a mild disability say a "hair lip" or extra finger won't be aborted.

As far as Wall Street - I'm sure yu also know that DiCaprio DID look like someone with CP. Fristly, my response was EMOTIONAL. I saw someone on screen mocking my movement while 400 people laughed. This made me want to die,. To disappear. It made me feel ugly and worthless. Emotional is not logic, nor something you can dismiss.

From an intellectual standpoint, I can sAY that the film was full or ableism and sexism. It's interesting to me that the culture is still so sexist and ableist that these things can go unchecked. I don't really care if it's "a true portrait." How about there be discussions about how these guys were realy ableist? Sexist?

The film, overall, is discusting because it's bringing more press to a person who really fucked over a lot of people. As a consequence, this jerk makes MORE money...WTF...
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  #72  
Old 02-17-2014, 04:37 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bofish View Post
He "forgot" and scheduled a work session. The bind is we need to mooney...so work should be important, but again and again - this "forgetting" whenever I make plans for us!
Curious that you put "forget" in quotation marks. Do you suspect that he's actually remembering but just not caring, or that he actually forgets?

Gralson is extremely forgetful when it comes to organizational type things, including dates and things like that. Actually, so am I. We're completely reliant on technology to remind us when we have to be somewhere, and we're both in the habit of checking our calendars before agreeing to things because we usually have no clue if we're busy that day or not. Sometimes he'll be thinking about something like a meeting all day the day before, and then completely forget to go.

It used to frustrate me when he would continually put the ketchup back on the wrong shelf, for example. But then I realized it's not that he doesn't care, he just legitimately can't remember. Being forgetful about other things myself, I can hardly hold that against him. Now I just quietly move the ketchup (etc) back to its proper place and go about my day.

If we have important plans, I remind him over and over. It's probably annoying, but he understands. And there have been times where he's double-booked, and I've asked him to cancel the second plans, just telling them he forgot he already had plans.
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Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

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  #73  
Old 02-17-2014, 04:45 PM
london london is offline
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I am pro choice and will absolutely discuss that issue. I think many members here will. Maybe start a thread in fireplace.
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  #74  
Old 02-17-2014, 09:06 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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London, You should start that thread! I don't want to be the only one discussing disability - and you have a disability also. I'll be happy to participate.
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  #75  
Old 02-18-2014, 08:28 AM
london london is offline
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Ok, but you get stats.. I don't think many babies who just have a cleft palette are terminated.. these babies have a .higher chance of additional abnormalities, like heart defects.
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  #76  
Old 03-02-2014, 01:15 AM
bofish bofish is offline
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Last night I went to me first meeting of a disability reading group.

In the past week, I've been involved in a discussion here on disability and abortion. At the group we were reading a book on Queerness, Feminism, and Cripness. Just an overview, to describe the people. I have mild CP. There was another woman with CP who used a wheelchair. Three abled folks (or with hidden disabilities) although one was raised in a Deaf Household. Two other women who used chairs, one without use of her hands from a birth "defect" ; a small person and some others. All, except one person who was very well-read, were academics or in graduate school.

It felt so good to finally be around people who have been through what I have been through. People in general (abled) tend to popo my experiences..or make excuses for why prejudice happens. I just want to share these stories. One woman spoke about quitting social work school due to ERICK ERICSON . While studying, it always bothered her that Erikson's stages of development where so limited and dismissive of disability. She later found out that Erikson had a child with Downs. He put this child in an institution. The wife told the other children their son had died at birth and they pretended he didn't exist. This women changed to disability studies, but described entering the disability studies program and the DS LOUNGE not being assessbile.

Another person (who is now a famous artist) described her experience going to art school as an undergrad. Through he work she was accepted to a number of programs. The minute they found out she was disabled, they recantered their invitation. One gave the excuse of non-accessible dorms: the other of CURB CUTS. She is not a very old person --this only happened 10-15 years ago. We spoke about how you 'can" sue someone, but at 19 years old, who has the mind, persistence, and money to do that. The majority of ADA cases (70 percent ?) fail anyway. The ADA is in many ways a bullshit token law. Another woman was turned down from Fordam (excuse, non-accessibility). So many stories.

Last edited by bofish; 03-02-2014 at 03:04 AM.
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  #77  
Old 03-02-2014, 06:46 AM
london london is offline
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Why are you judging people on how they decided to handle having a disabled child? I thought you said you don't judge individuals and try to decide what they can and can't cope with?
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  #78  
Old 03-02-2014, 02:37 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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I feel like you are aggressively pestering me.

WHERE DID I SAY THAT? PLEASE BE SPECIFIC. OR LEAVE ME ALONE. O wait, I see it, YES! I think PUTTING YOUR CHILD IN AN INSTITUTION AND TELLING HIS SIBLINGS HE'S DEAD AND ABANDONING HIM IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP! You don't? Do you believe in abandoning children? OR JUST DISABLED CHILDREN. THERE IS HUGED DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PUTTING A CHILD IN A SCHOOL OR OTHER CARE AND ABADONING IT. I SUPPOSE YOU BELIEVE IN ABADONING ABLE-CHILDREN TOO...

I'm not really mad at you london. You have said you have an impairment. I feel like it is your job to try to work with this impairment and learn how to communicate with people effectively. Even on the internet. Even strangers. I could block you, and I might eventually, but I like talking to you.

Honestly, why I argue is the arguments you give are ones that have systematically been given all my life. Let's break this down: in the other thread, people more or less pretended ableism didn't exist. Then, I get a post from this MONKEY person totally ignoring my visceral reaction to Wolf of Wall Street. Then, when I write about highly intelligent crips experience disability someone writes in and DEFENDS A MAJOR CHILD PHYCOLOGIST ABANDONING HIS CHILD. What the fuck is wrong with people? Sometimes I feel like a black person getting blasted with a hose again and again.

Last edited by bofish; 03-02-2014 at 02:49 PM.
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  #79  
Old 03-02-2014, 03:18 PM
london london is offline
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I might think that a system that fails to support these parents so much that institutionalization is a norm is fucked up. I don't think the parents who are failed are fucked up. That's why I'm interested in practical solutions and not condemnation.
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  #80  
Old 03-02-2014, 04:28 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Neither one of you seems capable of realizing that you're not going to change the other's mind. Quit banging your heads against the wall. The wall will never yield, and it does't care if you crack your skulls trying.

Especially you, bofish. You know what she's like and that she won't let go, nor is she capable of changing her mind about anything. Whether or not you think it's her job to work on the impairment, it's not your job to force her. Resist the urge to engage. I know how hard it is. Trust me, I know.

The truth is, there is no truth. You're discussing the most controversial topic on the face of the earth. There's no objective right or wrong here, there's just what works best for the people who have to make these choices for themselves. You can think it's disgusting, you can think their reasons are selfish and superficial, but they're their reasons and it's their choice, not yours.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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