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  #561  
Old 01-22-2014, 05:55 AM
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January really doesn't seem like it's being a good month for anyone! We should all have a do-over!
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  #562  
Old 01-28-2014, 01:09 AM
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Today I got a letter from the one and only woman I've ever fallen in love with (not to be confused with women I have dated).
She has been "anti-friendship" with me for nigh on 16 years now, due to a choice I made that was devastating for her then.
I have never given up on the POSSIBILITY of having my friend back. She was one of my best friends and I've made no secret of the fact that I miss her.
This letter is the first that addresses the possibility of rebuilding a friendship. She expresses what her "speed bumps" are and ends with specifying that she doesn't see them as road blocks per se, but that they are speed bumps to address.
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  #563  
Old 01-29-2014, 04:08 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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LR, I adore you, but your life makes me want to take a nap! I have been catching up, and I finally had a minute to comment.

GG blew off your date night and apologised the next day. Hmm. I would have addressed it that night, but he did apologise. Shit happens. I am happy to read that you two are working through your troubles. Remember that trouble will not last always. Sending positive vibes.

I hope everything works out with Spicy and her husband. I probably missed it, but sweet heavens, why are her dad and stepmum living with them? How long are they supposed to be there? That situation sounds tense. Kudos to him for acknowledging and admitting that he is struggling with depression. It is nothing to play with, and I hope he gets the help he needs.

Sweet Pea sounds like a lovely and wise boy. Two weeks IS forever in teenage years.

What a positive end to January. I hope you and your friend can work it out in due time. She probably missed you, too. Afterall, she reached out.

It has been a most unusual month for everyone I have encountered. Here is to February being better and smoother for everyone.
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  #564  
Old 02-13-2014, 02:26 AM
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Blowing off our date was primarily an issue, because it's been happening for almost a year now. He did apologize, I did accept the apology, but I am still holding him accountable to make his actions the way he sends the message regarding relationship. I'm not going to make "dating" or "sex" a priority with him when he can't even make seeing me for 20 minutes a priority.

That said, he has made some significant strides. He asked me about a weekday evening "dinner" date and I gave him Thursdays as the preferable day in light of the convoluted schedules we are trying to coordinate (that evening I finish class at 5:15, Maca is home with the kids and I don't have to rush home). We've met at the library (I still have study and homework to get through, but he loves the library). We curl up together and read through my Psych paperwork together. That's been nice.
He told the boss-no. He won't work before 1pm except for Thursdays (office meeting day) when he goes in at 11am. He says he is looking for another job. He really wasn't "getting" it, until he read a letter my ex-girlfriend sent (she was OUR friend "back in the day). It triggered him and he got a picture of what it feels like to be "unwanted" and "superfluous". He realized that he wasn't doing what HE feels he should be in a relationship-he got lazy. It happens.
*I still think that a year of "lazy" while the other person is actively asking, demanding etc a change is eyebrow raising. *

Spicy's other parents lost their jobs in Alabama due to layoffs. That led to them losing their home and cars etc. They moved back here (where they have her/grandsons and his parents) but have to find work. Quite the tense situation there. I can't imagine.
The husband is doing much better. He needed some support, he needed some direction for how to manage what needed managed, but thankfully-he also WANTED it. Spicy just stopped breastfeeding so she could go back on her medication which will hopefully help her too.

Sweet Pea is awesome. He's a great kid. I most especially love how he SHOWS the way to accept people. He just "gets it".

Sweet Pea and Sour Pea had a piano recital last Friday. It was a BLAST! So proud of both of them!!
Saturday was Sweet Pea's 14th bday! OMG! I'm getting old.
We had a lot of fun for that too.

Maca had an MRI Monday. Now he is waiting for the appointment with the specialist to find out what is next in dealing with his neck. One little step at a time.
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  #565  
Old 02-17-2014, 04:50 PM
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Valentine's was drama-free. It was relaxed and nice. GG came home from work for a dinner with the family. Maca got some nice steaks and made shrimp kabobs to go with them. The kids were thrilled to enjoy "valentine's day dinner" with the adults. It was all pretty cool actually.
We made cards for the special people outside of the household as a family. Sour Pea HAD A BLAST with the glitter (go figure) lol. A family friend sent chocolates and caramel covered apples and chocolate covered strawberries for everyone.
We've all been sick for a week (upper respiratory virus we got from the grandkids). So we've been lazing around the house, sleeping a lot and watching movies.

For Valentine's Day Sweet Pea and I curled up on the couch and watched a sappy 80's chick flick. Too sweet and too funny that kid is!
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  #566  
Old 03-13-2014, 11:49 PM
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Lots of change.

We found out on March 6th that Maca's job needs him to go back to Kodiak (May-Dec). He told them point blank, the only way he would do that is if they paid for an apartment for the family and transportation costs to go down and return (once) (including dog). They agreed.

SO-we catch the ferry May 21st. None of us (including him) is THRILLED. But-

GG made the decision to give up his position with the school district and accept a day shift (wtf?) for 1/2 the pay (wtf) with the district (vs leaving the district altogether). He has some weird loyalty to them-even though they treat him like crap and he thinks that they suck to the point he adamantly flips his lid considering the kids going to school there...

With that choice of GG's we can't cover expenses unless Maca is working full time. In Kodiak he will be working 50 hours a week, but not be an hour away (like he is here). So he won't be gone MORE, he will be gone the same amount of time a week, but get paid for an extra 10 hours a week. All over time pay.

THEN-GG mouthed off "well if you guys are going to be gone anyway, maybe I will just keep my job". I checked out of the conversation at that point. I am so done with his loyalty to a job that treats him like pissed in dirt, that I can't even talk about it coherently.

In the meantime, Sweet Pea will be going back and forth, because he's old enough to travel without an adult. Sour Pea and I are going to Disneyland with a friend over the summer.


I'm not excited about Kodiak. I am just focusing on continuing to do my classes and work towards finishing my bachelors so I can apply to graduate schools.

Nothing is happening with GG and I. We met a few times for a weekly date, but he's still off in his own little world and I can't break through. I don't see that resolving itself with me gone. I see it getting worse. By the time I am here again, it will have been 2 years of disconnect...
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  #567  
Old 03-14-2014, 12:34 AM
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Hugs, LR... I'm sorry things aren't going well with GG, and moves (even temporary ones) aren't all that great either. More time with Maca will be good, though... and finishing up that schoolwork even better. Hang in there...
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Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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  #568  
Old 03-14-2014, 01:25 AM
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I'm cheering for you. I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with, but I sincerely hope it works out for you.
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  #569  
Old 03-14-2014, 08:47 PM
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I do believe that over time; everything works out. At least assuming that you are willing to accept that your "preferred outcome" may not be the one you get.

It's a struggle some days more than others.
But over all, I have no regrets.

Just learning and watching and moving along.
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  #570  
Old 04-03-2014, 07:47 PM
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SO EXCITED!
I did the "mini training" required by the school to "do research on human subjects" yesterday.

Today I was talking to a prof (who happens to be VERY conservative and totally unaware of alternative lifestyles) and he said he would be willing to be my "official name supervisor" so that I can do my research on a larger scale (outside of classmates, family and close friends)
AND
that he will contact the professor in NY who he got his phd from, because that person is an lgbt activitst-and ask him to oversee and help with design and what not so everything is legit AND I will have another person as a recommendation for grad school!!

I AM SO THRILLED!

Totally not expected from this particular professor. But he was impressed with my papers (regarding poly) this semester and thinks I have a good topic and that it is a "new topic for research" and he's supportive!

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