First off, why does everyone seem to automatically assume that the OP's primary is his wife? I see this happening all the time on here lately and it's starting to get annoying that the assumption is always Primary = Wife/ Husband. As Magdlyn pointed out, the OP's other posts have said he is not married. I think that the OP was asking in general if it was reasonable to ask his partner to meet and be respectful of his other partner.
With background from his other posts, I'd say that after having been open for years, yes, I'd expect to be able to ask my partner to respect my new partner. If my partner did not want to meet them in person, I'd still request that if my new partner contacted them to verify that we were in an open relationship, they would at least respond politely. (I would not specifically give out my partner's contact information, but these day's it is easy for people to get that info w/o my help).
I honestly would be very frustrated after being open for years, my partner said "I can't be adult about this". I am not willing to be in a relationship with anyone who cannot behave like an adult.