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  #61  
Old 02-15-2014, 05:21 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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Butch has always pulled his weight with the kids once they were not exclusively breast fed. When he was laid off his job he was a SAHD for a few months.

I am sorry but NRE its never an excuse for bad behavior.
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Married in the eyes of the government to Butch since 2001...
Murf my monogamous second husband has been with me since May of 2012.
In a V relationship with an average 60/40 split of time. Only due to Murf's and Butch's crappy work schedules.
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  #62  
Old 02-15-2014, 08:45 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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Default Don't understand

I guess i don't understand the question.

First, in a monogamous situation (which I was for 9 years) I would never, ever ask my husband not to bee platonic friends with a straight woman. That seems silly if you trust your partner.

Second, I guess I don't understand the big deal here. Parents have platonic friends. You kids know them. If parents have lovers who have been around for a while, it seems like you can a. tell kids they you are poly, talk about the person first and then introduce. or b. just introduce as a friend. My family has has tons of friendships and romances end. My son isn't overly attached to these people - he's 11 and running is own relationships.

Is the play you are coming from the very traditional model which focuses on a nuclear family?
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  #63  
Old 02-15-2014, 09:05 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Schroed-That is a large part of how this "approach" became our approach to meeting new people etc.
I'm not keen on the pressure for sex "early on" which seemed to always encompass "going out".
I find it safer for me to get to know people in a friendly, social environment where sex isn't on the table.
There's no rule that we HAVE to do that individually. In fact, Maca has been known to go out with his prospective's on his own for several months before inviting them over or introducing them.

But I don't do that.

It should be noted, that it's ok with us that other people aren't like this. But I'm not "desperately seeking". Like Alanis Morisette's song 21 Things I want in a Lover; She says something about she has a choice in the matter.
Well, I have a choice in the matter, I can be choosey and I'm totally ok with that lowering the pool of potentials, because I would rather have someone who is comfortable with the REAL me, my REAL life and my REAL circumstances, than someone who is trying to change me.
People who have circumstances that are compatible, feel relieved. People who aren't compatible, don't press for a romance.
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  #64  
Old 02-16-2014, 07:17 AM
london london is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Schroed-That is a large part of how this "approach" became our approach to meeting new people etc.
I'm not keen on the pressure for sex "early on" which seemed to always encompass "going out".
I find it safer for me to get to know people in a friendly, social environment where sex isn't on the table.
There's no rule that we HAVE to do that individually. In fact, Maca has been known to go out with his prospective's on his own for several months before inviting them over or introducing them.

But I don't do that.

It should be noted, that it's ok with us that other people aren't like this. But I'm not "desperately seeking". Like Alanis Morisette's song 21 Things I want in a Lover; She says something about she has a choice in the matter.
Well, I have a choice in the matter, I can be choosey and I'm totally ok with that lowering the pool of potentials, because I would rather have someone who is comfortable with the REAL me, my REAL life and my REAL circumstances, than someone who is trying to change me.
People who have circumstances that are compatible, feel relieved. People who aren't compatible, don't press for a romance.
You have two live in primary partners. You're living your poly dream. Is anyone else in your network?


And yeah, NRE is about your partner fucking up. An inability to maintain multiple relationships. Forcing them to do so through rules and boundaries when they simply have no inclination to do it is wholly pointless.
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