I need advice!!
I am in desperate need of advice and I don't know where to turn.
My husband and I have been married for about 7 1/2 years and together only a little over a year longer than that. We got into polyamory almost 9 months ago. We are what you would call a triangle. We have a mutual girlfriend. Her and her two children live with us and our two children. The kids have a vague idea of what is going on but nothing more than that. Some of our family members, some friends and some coworkers know about all of us.
My problem is this. When our relationship first started I was happy, it was easy and I loved it. But with every passing day I find it harder and harder to deal with. I want to make it clear that I'm not the kind of person who just gives up and runs away when things get tough. It's just that I thought that this was what I wanted and now I know it's not. I realized a few months ago that I hate sharing my husband. Maybe it makes me selfish and greedy but I just want him back. I have told him that I don't want this anymore and that I hate sharing him, but he still wants it.
I don't know where to go from here. I don't want this but they both do. I refuse to ask, beg or to make him get rid of her. I want him to not want her but he does and that cannot be changed. I can't keep living like this but I don't want to lose my husband.