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  #11  
Old 02-09-2014, 06:35 PM
Becca Becca is offline
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Given the statistics, especially with the number of people who have it and don't know, and given how unreliable the blood test is, I just presume everyone I meet has both strains. The more people I kiss, the more people I sleep with, the greater the risk. Period.

I might actually be less likely to contract it from someone who knows they have it, if they're on a suppressant medication, than from someone who mistakenly believes they don't have it.

I've been lucky so far. Never a cold sore, never an outbreak, never a positive test result. That doesn't mean I don't have it. Either I don't have it, or I have it but am asympomatic. Yay! But if I have any new partners, then I'm putting my name back in the lottery. It's a risk of having an active sex life, and not one that can be easily mitigated, except through monogamy (or polyfidelity, I suppose).
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  #12  
Old 02-09-2014, 07:27 PM
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alibabe_muse alibabe_muse is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
We have a friend with an extreme case of excema. The poor guy avoids dairy, soy and gluten and his skin is still like red sandpaper. He and his partner must make sure of the HSV status of any lovers they have, since he could be in serious trouble if he contracted herpes. He has been told it could kill him. As it is, he is a "stone" Dom, doesn't kiss or hug, uses toys for kink and sex, but they still have a strict no herpes rule. He is also allergic to the anti-virals, so wouldnt be able to reduce the severity of an outbreak.


...

Gah. My bf is dating someone with HSV1. I hope he is lucky and she never passes it to him because of asymptomatic shedding.
Mag.. pnutt developed extreme eczema when he was 6 months old. And a young child can't stop themselves from scratching so he'd do it so bad he'd be bleeding. After years of removing foods from diet I took him to an allergist. Discovered his biggest allergy is tree pollens, mostly alder trees. They were all over where we use to live. Next was grass, then cats and just slightly to dogs but zero foods. And these allergies are inherited from the mother. By the time we moved here he was on 4 zyrtec a day at the age of 5. Within two weeks no more pills and his skin is healed. Two in a half years later his skin is soft and beautiful.

Beauty had eczema too and there is an ointment made in South Korea which "cured" hers for 5 cents a tube but it caused mild hearing loss in her right ear. Its not fda approved and was given to us by a friend.

So I asked the allergist what I could do to prevent it since I was pregnant with princess at the time of allergy testing and eating more probiotics would help. Princess has zero eczema. Not sure if eating habits during pregnancy actually helped or due to the move prevented it from developing.

The point of my story-sorry OP for going off topic-is your friend my have different allergies that are continuing him to have eczema.
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  #13  
Old 02-10-2014, 06:46 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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You can get the flu from all these things too. You get the flu, you get over it, you're healthy again. Not like herpes.

That doesn't mean I kiss people when I know they have the flu. That doesn't mean I go to work and spread flu germs all over because let's face it, most people are going to get it anyway.

It's called "minimizing risk." You can never make yourself 100% safe and protected from everything. That doesn't mean you go around the world being completely careless, ignoring visible dangers just because sooner or later we're all going to die.

I hear stories like that, girls who can't sit down because of bad infections. I hear about my bff's sister, who had an outbreak when her kid was born, and the kid nearly died, and will live the rest of her life with a compromised immune system. Why should I take chances with my own health just so other people can feel better about their disease? Not my problem.

Discrimination would be refusing to hire someone who has herpes, or refusing to provide them with medical treatment, or refusing to let them use public washrooms or shop in my store. My body is not a public service, and discrimination rules don't apply.

The very fact that so many people treat it as something that you're bound to contract sooner or later is exactly the reason that it's spread so readily. If more people with herpes would fess up and avoid sex with non-infected partners, it wouldn't spread so much. Just like if people with the flu would stay home from work, the disease vectors would be significantly reduced.
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Last edited by SchrodingersCat; 02-10-2014 at 06:52 AM.
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  #14  
Old 02-10-2014, 06:59 AM
london london is offline
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My twenty nine year old healthy cousin died of flu two years ago.
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  #15  
Old 02-10-2014, 07:02 AM
london london is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
You can get the flu from all these things too. You get the flu, you get over it, you're healthy again. Not like herpes.

That doesn't mean I kiss people when I know they have the flu. That doesn't mean I go to work and spread flu germs all over because let's face it, most people are going to get it anyway.

It's called "minimizing risk." You can never make yourself 100% safe and protected from everything. That doesn't mean you go around the world being completely careless, ignoring visible dangers just because sooner or later we're all going to die.

I hear stories like that, girls who can't sit down because of bad infections. I hear about my bff's sister, who had an outbreak when her kid was born, and the kid nearly died, and will live the rest of her life with a compromised immune system. Why should I take chances with my own health just so other people can feel better about their disease? Not my problem.

Discrimination would be refusing to hire someone who has herpes, or refusing to provide them with medical treatment, or refusing to let them use public washrooms or shop in my store. My body is not a public service, and discrimination rules don't apply.

The very fact that so many people treat it as something that you're bound to contract sooner or later is exactly the reason that it's spread so readily. If more people with herpes would fess up and avoid sex with non-infected partners, it wouldn't spread so much. Just like if people with the flu would stay home from work, the disease vectors would be significantly reduced.
"keep those filthy diseases away from us clean folk. Ewe."
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  #16  
Old 02-11-2014, 12:20 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Becca View Post

I might actually be less likely to contract it from someone who knows they have it, if they're on a suppressant medication, than from someone who mistakenly believes they don't have it.
Very true. It's something the doctor commented on regarding our situation. I've had it since I was a teen. Neither Maca or GG have gotten it, in 20 years of unprotected sex. But I do take medication and I do pay attention to my body. If something even feels sensitive-sex is off the table.
It's not a guarantee-but it is helpful for people to be conscious.
I don't share towels, washcloths, dishes or clothing. I personally wash what I use immediately so that it's not laying around for someone to grab. When I do have sex, we shower, hot soap and water, immediately afterward. We have made that part of the "routine" of our romance.

I have another friend who was married for 12 years and his wife had herpes-he never contracted it.

On the other hand I can't count the number of people who I have encountered who were "SURE they were clean" and when we INSISTED that they do the full spectrum of testing-they found out that in fact they have herpes and never knew it.
I also have several friends who know that they have it, but haven't had symptoms in upwards of 20 years.

It's a tricky one.
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  #17  
Old 02-11-2014, 12:23 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post

The very fact that so many people treat it as something that you're bound to contract sooner or later is exactly the reason that it's spread so readily. If more people with herpes would fess up and avoid sex with non-infected partners, it wouldn't spread so much. Just like if people with the flu would stay home from work, the disease vectors would be significantly reduced.
I also agree (actually I liked the whole post but I don't want to annoy the world by reposting every word).

There is no reason why it needs to be spread.

But-education is key.
Unfortunately-too many mistakenly believe that they are taking all of the possible precautions-while actually having relations with people who HAVE IT and don't know it.
Of everyone I personally know who has it-I am one of TWO who KNEW there was a problem and went in for it. The others found out after having been under the impression they had no std's-but being pressured into testing anyway. They had all been sexually active for unknown periods of time with multiple partners while they had it-and no ability to assess where they got it or from whom.
Furthermore: most of them did not go back and tell prior partners.
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  #18  
Old 02-11-2014, 05:31 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
"keep those filthy diseases away from us clean folk. Ewe."
Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I liked the whole post but I don't want to annoy the world by reposting every word
I'm just going to point out the irony that the person who is supposedly not infected is taking it upon herself to be offended on behalf of the entire infected population, whereas the person who is open about being infected is admiring my post. Clearly, london, you don't speak for all people with herpes. They are fully capable of speaking up for themselves, and indeed many do. They don't need you to be their crusader, treating them like incapable and impotent minorities who need some chick in the UK to fight their battles. If you've got so much energy for activism, surely you can find a more disempowered group to fight for.

"Stigma" means that one believes certain people to be inferior human beings on account of one factor, such as a disease. Nowhere in any of my posts have I implied that people with herpes are inferior or in any way "filthy." No sense getting offended by the words you're putting in my mouth. The Straw Man is one of the oldest fallacies in the book.

It's true that people with herpes are, in general, stigmatized. But that doesn't mean choosing not to have sex with someone with herpes is itself an act of stigmatization.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
Auto: my girlfriend (lives with her husband Zoffee).

The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #19  
Old 02-11-2014, 06:49 AM
london london is offline
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Everyone knows that implying someone with a disease is dirty is offensive and adds to stigma. Sorry if that escaped you. You can say positive or negative and still ensure your prejudices are clear.
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  #20  
Old 02-11-2014, 07:11 AM
london london is offline
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http://www.thestdproject.com/stigma-...rpes-and-stds/

If you're interested in being less offensive, read this.
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