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Old 02-09-2014, 12:38 AM
zed42 zed42 is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 3
Default Ethical poly dating while single

So, here's my story.

I am currently completely single. However, the stars seem to be in some sort of alignment and there are a couple of people who have come into my life. There is mutual attraction and have been a few dates. Each person is in a poly marriage with their respective partners. It is impossible to know whether things will progress or not because everything is so new. But, the situation has presented me with a possible ethical conundrum.

My ethical issue is that, I'll eventually need either committed live-in poly beloved(or beloveds) of my own, or a committed mono relationship to have all my needs met. Not now, and maybe not for years. But, eventually I will want at least one relationship where I'm not limited to secondary status in its growth.

If I find someone who is poly, awesome! Whatever other relationships I'm in at the time, will hopefully, understand and we can all work through how to navigate with the changing circumstances in the way one does when new paramours come into existing situations.

What if I find myself falling for a completely mono person? I may have people in my life whom I love at that point whose situations do not allow me to have all of my relationship needs met. I don't believe that I would end those relationships in favor of something new. But, I can't rule it out either. People do make interesting choices in the throes of new love.

Do I avoid dating people who have a primary-style relationship and are not looking for more primaries until I know what my eventual romantic entanglements will be like? Or, do I allow things to progress how they progress with honest communication to all of my partners?

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Or would anyone like to weigh in with an opinion?
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