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  #11  
Old 02-06-2014, 01:25 PM
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SouthernGal SouthernGal is offline
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Moving forward very slowly. Leo has been trying to be open and understanding about the idea of me having another relationship. It strikes me as so odd that it comes so naturally to him to be able to see other people, but the idea of me stepping into the pool sent him on a tizzy. Right now, we're at a point where he's saying okay, but I want to be involved. I understand that point. I was there once. But I also know that's not likely to work. Baby steps. The last thing I want to do is implode my relationship with him. He's trying and being repectful, so I'm willing to give him my patience and understanding. We're in this together.
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Me - Mostly mono female, 39 yrs old, married to Leo.
Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.

Last edited by SouthernGal; 02-06-2014 at 01:26 PM. Reason: fat finger syndrome. corrected my spelling.
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  #12  
Old 02-07-2014, 08:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernGal View Post
Moving forward very slowly. Leo has been trying to be open and understanding about the idea of me having another relationship. It strikes me as so odd that it comes so naturally to him to be able to see other people, but the idea of me stepping into the pool sent him on a tizzy. Right now, we're at a point where he's saying okay, but I want to be involved. I understand that point. I was there once. But I also know that's not likely to work. Baby steps. The last thing I want to do is implode my relationship with him. He's trying and being repectful, so I'm willing to give him my patience and understanding. We're in this together.
Isn't it interesting how this is working out? It's about the same for us. In the beginning, I had tons of contacts on okc which unraveled bassman. I hadn't even made dates and he had a hard time with it. And now, viola, he's in love and has a serious relationship. Yes baby steps...it's the only way to make these transitions smooth.
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  #13  
Old 02-07-2014, 09:18 PM
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Yep, same thing. Leo decided to help me by building a couples profile on a site. He's been checking people out and sending messages or replying. Since I'm the front woman on the site ( the profile pic is of me), lots of messages have been coming in. Par for the course, but he's never seen it from this end before. He pointed someone out to me that he hoped might be open to being a third, I liked what I saw and started messaging the man. I asked Leo yesterday if he would be open to me seeing him alone if he wasn't interested in a threesome or triad. His mood shifted immediately, though he said "why not?" Today, he volunteers that made him angry because it's not safe for me to meet men by myself. That's how I met Leo! lol. I told him of course I would be safe and he saw the message I had sent asking if he would meet us for drinks. Honestly, I think it's a smoke screen. I'm not so excited that I'm looking to just jump in the deep end immediately. It was an idle question. But now I have a whole lot more questions. Is he saying he doesn't want me to date any other men without him? Has he decided not to date others if I'm not involved with the date? Or does he want to stay open to dating women alone, but I only date with him? Or is it open for both of us to date and he's just struggling with it? He asked what I want. Honestly, I'm not that invested in it. I'd be perfectly happy going back to being mono. I have nothing to lose. But I won't agree to a one penis policy with women still on the table. I'm just not that attracted to women; I prefer men. I'm just open to women and occassionally am attracted to a woman. I foresee a long conversation in my future.
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Me - Mostly mono female, 39 yrs old, married to Leo.
Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.

Last edited by SouthernGal; 02-07-2014 at 10:01 PM.
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  #14  
Old 02-07-2014, 10:25 PM
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I think what bothers me the most is that I start thinking, " this sounds really nice, I think I want to try it" and the brakes get put on. That's frustrating. It feels a whole lot like he can do it, but I can't. Pick a direction & that's the way I'll go, but stop waffling on me and don't think a double standard will work. I don't want a boyfriend to balance things, but I would like to explore it and see if this is something I want too.
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Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.
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  #15  
Old 03-01-2014, 02:10 AM
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I'm alive! Walking pneumonia has been kicking my tail, but I'm finally feeling better. I thought I'd pop in to update. I went on a date a few weeks ago, but was disapponted. Isn't that how it goes? I just didn't like or trust him. I caught him lying a couple times, then he flat out admitted he was married because he wanted to make sure I would be discreet so she wouldn't find out. Wrong kind of girl, bud. He knows Leo, has specifically talked to him about our choices, so he knows I'm not just stepping out. I do not like cheaters. Ewwww! Big ole NO THANKS. Sigh. I feel for his wife. With the sickness (mycoplasma infection, they told me) I've been too sick to care about trying again. I'm feeling worlds better, but I'm barely getting back to giving Leo enough attention. He's been my rock. Very patient and helpful. I'm glad I have him by my side.
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Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.
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  #16  
Old 03-12-2014, 11:22 PM
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I'm in Georgia on business, and it's been tough on me. I've never liked traveling away from my family, but it's the first time I've traveled more than a couple of days since we opened up. The last time I traveled like this was over 6 years ago. Knowing Leo is at home and free to spend more time with another partner has been rough on me. Lately, he's been courting K. She strikes me as flighty, but he really likes her. He asked before I left town if it was okay if he took their relationship the next step (sexual). What was I going to say? No? I don't feel like that's my place. But it disturbed the hell out of my sleep last night, wondering if he was with her. I don't have all the things around myself that I can usually distract myself with. My friends are hundreds of miles away. It stinks. I can't begrudge him this, but when all you have to keep you company is your own thoughts, it's not easy. I managed to put it out of my mind and sleep, but woke to the same thoughts this morning. If this hotel had a gym, I'd work out until I couldn't think anymore. Blah. I guess I'm just building character. Meanwhile, it's getting cold here and I'm missing home even more. Why did I have to travel when this last big front came through? Still, I feel for everyone covered in snow. Y'all take care of yourselves!
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Me - Mostly mono female, 39 yrs old, married to Leo.
Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.
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  #17  
Old 03-14-2014, 01:47 AM
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Leo surprises me sometimes. When he asked if it was okay to go further with K this week,I worked hard to stay upbeat and open and said yes. I want him to be happy. My discomfort is mine to deal with. My issues are mine. Yes, I think she's flighty, but I haven't told him that. I like her enough that it's not really an issue anyway, just not my cup of tea. Then Leo sends me a text message that he's been good this week and misses sexy time with me, meaning he hasn't gone there with her. He decided to wait until I'm back home before taking that step. It was very sweet, but unnecessary and a bit of a shock to me. I really love that he wants to make things easier for me, and I appreciate what he has done. But I don't know how to react. His relationship with her is not really my business. Asking me if it's ok to take it the next step is more of a heads-up than me actually giving permission. More a guage to make sure my headspace is good. I think I'll be talking to him about it this weekend. I don't want him thinking I have to approve every step of the way. That's just not right. I shocked him this week too. I'm allergic to latex, not horribly, but enough that sex with a latex condom is deeply uncomfortable and even painful. He made some joke about me spending the night with a man I met up here and talked to for a while, and I explained the extent of the allergy and because of it, I don't do casual sex or one night stands. He was speechless. We got past condoms so long ago and I never really talked to him about what they do to me, that he never realized what it's like.

Tomorrow, I go home. I miss my family terribly. Not to mention, I have a horny husband (and a horny me for that matter) to take care of tomoorrow. Yay!
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Leo - Poly bi-sexual male, 37 years old. Married to me and looking.
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