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  #21  
Old 01-31-2014, 03:47 AM
Kimk010514 Kimk010514 is offline
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Idk what it is and the only thing that gets me is that she texts her ex girlfriend that lives down the road from us yeah I talk to my ex but I also have a child with him
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  #22  
Old 01-31-2014, 12:47 PM
Kimk010514 Kimk010514 is offline
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I just don't know what to do anymore I really care about them and love them dearly .. Me and the wife had a talk last night it was amazing that we actually talk without having an attitude
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  #23  
Old 01-31-2014, 04:07 PM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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So one thing I am curious about is your use of language. There is you, and there is a husband and wife. And you're in a relationship with both. What names do you give your relationships with them? What status do you have with them?

I ask because we're at this point in our group of three. The marriage that I've been in has opened up, widely. Sure, my wife and I are still married. But our language to the woman we're both seeing has been changing. We haven't found the word that makes sense, but ... it's not like there's just ONE relationship, and someone off on the side. AM is part of the fabric of our marriage, just like my wife is part of the fabric of my relationship with AM, and so on. There's THREE relationships, and they are of increasingly equal value. One happens to have state sanctioned rights, but the other two relationships are no less serious or intense.

Does that keep us from feeling jealous, wanting more time with a person we aren't seeing enough of, or whatever else? Nah, we experience all that. But we're not protecting the marriage at the expense of the other relationships. It's not more sacred, more special. It's been around LONGER, so that makes certain changes more difficult, at times, but that's different from being more sacred.

Don't know if that helps you at all. From what you write, it seems like you have relationships with each of them, but THEY aren't maintaining their relationship to each other. You could help them with that - set up dates, help wake up the husband and then go away, who knows. But if one couple in a trio isn't working, eventually it screws everyone up, right? Plus, sometimes it's fun to help the couple you're not part of come closer to each other...
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  #24  
Old 02-01-2014, 04:30 AM
Kimk010514 Kimk010514 is offline
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All i got to say is fuck my life
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  #25  
Old 02-03-2014, 05:35 AM
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Brighty18 Brighty18 is offline
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This may sound like an odd question, but how does the wife feel about her job? And her husband's job? And your schedule?

I am asking because I have been in a slightly similar situation (as the wife who resents the time the other two spent together), and I came to realize that the heart of the issue was NOT the amount of time A. (my legal husband) and C. (our wonderful partner) were spending together, but that is was that I hated my job and my schedule. I was feeling stressed and over-worked and sometimes resented the many hours of free time they had together. I had my time with A. and C. and we had our times altogether, but I worked more hours than they did combined. A. works part time and C. didn't have a job at all. I was fortunate enough to change jobs and now I LOVE what I do, so things are a lot better.

All I am suggesting is that the wife's resentment could have other roots.
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  #26  
Old 02-04-2014, 03:28 AM
Kimk010514 Kimk010514 is offline
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The wife works 1st shift husband works 3rd shift and I don't work at all I stay home with my son
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  #27  
Old 02-04-2014, 08:29 PM
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Brighty18 Brighty18 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimk010514 View Post
The wife works 1st shift husband works 3rd shift and I don't work at all I stay home with my son
But does she like her job and hours? Again, I'm just asking because there are different sorts of jealousy/resentment and I realized that a BIG part of mine was the jealousy and resentment of them having more free time (not just together, but in general) and having free time during the beautiful and fun times of the day.

Or is the concern more about how she interacts with you?
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