...and you're the guy who doesn't trust words, SS? You certainly write words filled with scalding emotional honesty.
But man, you are in an emotional hurricane right now. Maybe the first priority is, as vandalin and Ariakas suggest, to find some calm. Take a few days off if you have the time and go to the beach or something.
Incidentally, I don't think anyone will duplicate your unique sexual experiences with her. I don't think it works that way -- I don't know what L and D do in bed, but I don't think it's the same as what L and I do. Different people, different experiences. You're still unique.