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  #11  
Old 01-29-2014, 10:16 PM
Spock Spock is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
That hot or not, it is still a complete disregard of who I am other than what I look like so....not a compliment. It feels like a want to remove me as a person and a want to make who I am not matter. It feels like an act of aggression coming from another woman because she should? know what its like to be wanted for her body only.
I understand what you are saying, I'm only trying to give you what the opposite view might be.

It takes a little warm up for me to 'want' my wife, (not a lot of warm up, just a few kisses and such), but if not for the kissing and such you would think me totally asexual. However, my point is that I can imagine someone with a much lower threshold of warmup (talking to her, seeing her, etc) because she is, in fact, totally hot.

EDIT: I wanted to add that I agree that such a reaction is in fact a total disregard for you as a person, because it's all in their head; you could be a cardboard cutout at that point.
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  #12  
Old 01-29-2014, 10:18 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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When I first re-entered the dating scene on okc 5 years ago, I found my gf miss pixi right away. I was being swamped with messages from men then, and when in course of conversation they found out I had a gf, so many would ask about the possibility of a threeway. I found it gross and so did miss p.
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me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37
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  #13  
Old 01-30-2014, 02:28 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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I don't think it's a compliment. I think it's gross.
I am bi.
But I want to be wanted for who I am, not who my partner(s) is(are).
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  #14  
Old 01-30-2014, 03:54 AM
bookbug bookbug is offline
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I can understand what you are saying. While I might not take it as a compliment, I understand that there are all sorts of people who operate differently than I do, so I wouldn't be offended either. I'd just explain that that is not the way roll; I need to get to know a person first.
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  #15  
Old 01-30-2014, 04:37 PM
vanquish vanquish is offline
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My hyper-logical brain would explain it this way...

if you're an anonymous sex type person, then it is a compliment. Those encounters seem to be "hot or not" determinations.

if youre a "personality means something to me when it comes to sex" type person, then of course it's not a complement.

being either kind of person is fine and dandy, but your husband shouldnt expect you to be something youre not. Communicate with him and y'all should come to an understanding.
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