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Old 04-07-2010, 08:19 PM
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idealist idealist is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Deep South
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Default Idealist Poly Blog Part 10- focusing on the quad

I had a nice conversation with Richard this week. He stayed out of town last weekend because of his work. I sent him a video of Charles dancing and cutting up on Thursday night. He replied “F*ck…..I miss you guys!!!” The four of us (me, Richard, Charles and Holland) do have really good compatibility as a foursome.

Early on, Charles and I encouraged Holland and Richard to spend some time alone together so they could establish a connection and they did. They became sexual much to our delight. So, now when we all get together, she feels comfortable with both guys; as do I. I’m not really seeing me and Holland becoming sexual, but it’s possible.

But, now that I think about it, we have never had an evening with just us four. It’s really my fault because I tend to get into the idea that “the more the better” when getting people together, but we all know….that’s not always true. It’s hard to find a nice intimacy with large groups. So, I promised Richard that we would plan some good quality time together…..just us four…..really soon!! And I sent a message to Charles and Holland about it.

Anyway- as I expected, Richard did have a woman (Cherie) over for several days during the weekend. She relaxed and watched TV during the day while he was at work. He likes having someone to come home to because he gets lonely. He has known her for a while and has seen her casually, but this was the most amount of time they have spent together. I don’t mind if he wants to keep her isolated from all of us. He did send me a photo of her. He has not shared with her about his lifestyle over here. And, although I know this lifestyle is based on complete and total honesty, it doesn’t bother me if he wants to have a lover out of town that doesn’t know about all of us.

So, I told him that I posted a note on my blog about how he would probably get into a monogamous relationship and then our connection would become platonic. He said, “I don’t see that happening any time soon, so you can go write that.” He suffered a great deal the last time he “fell in love” with a woman and it didn’t work out. He’s soooo emotional…….

I had to tell him that I have a trip planned for this weekend with John, Charles and Holland and that I really wish he was going with me instead of John. I can’t imagine having Richard and John together since John is just now meeting Charles and Holland. It’s just too many unknowns. But anyway- he said “I’m sure you guys will have fun and I’ll work part of the weekend again since you guys won’t even be in town”

I had introduced him to a woman named Susan about 4 months ago and they had liked one another. They had been trying to find time to get together again and couldn’t seem to coordinate their schedules, so I suggested that he might go out with her on Saturday night while we’re out of town. We all know her too and she may be open to joining the group. The only way to know is to get to know her better. He agreed. To be honest, if he goes out with Susan, it will help him to not hyper focus on Cherie. I don’t mind if he decides to get into a monogamous relationship, but to be honest, I don’t think it’s the best thing for him right now and it’s a selfish thing too. I enjoy having access to him and am looking forward to some intimate time with our foursome!

I know it seems like "too much" at times, but people come and go from our lives and I'm trying to develop a few Vs, quads, and whatevers so there will be options for me and for them. As people drop out, new people are coming in. It takes time to establish trusting relationships and you can't tell where things are going...... it's all good
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The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.

Last edited by idealist; 04-09-2010 at 04:50 AM.
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