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  #11  
Old 01-27-2014, 01:29 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Just let us know how we can help, that goes for both of you guys. I can direct you to specific reading materials if that will help. Also I (along with many others) am here to answer questions as best I can; whenever you ping this thread I'll definitely respond.

I think sometimes polyamory isn't something you understand, it's just something you know about and support your husband's interest in it however you can without compromising your own needs and morals. Right now I think the important thing is cooling the engines with M. Maybe a better poly match will come along in the future, who knows and that's not something that has to happen by any means.

Children are a blessing but everything I've heard suggests that nothing can prepare any new parent for life with their first newborn. I think poly will have to go to the back burner for awhile, it'll just be self-evident. You have a strong marriage and you'll get through the challenges together. Just let us know how we can help.

Sincerely,
Kevin T.
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  #12  
Old 01-28-2014, 07:04 AM
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Dagferi Dagferi is offline
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If you are poly why would you have a melt down because M kissed another man?

Or is this a case of you want your cake and eat it too.
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  #13  
Old 01-28-2014, 08:15 AM
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I think that breakdown was about him realising the true nature and extent of his feelings.

Even Poly people get jealous c'mon!!!
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  #14  
Old 01-28-2014, 01:08 PM
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Jealous sure... emotionally having a breakdown where you freak out over someone whom you are not in a relationship with beyond flirting. Especially with someone who tried to ruin your life by getting yiu in trouble at work is stupid.

M is a monster in my opinion.
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  #15  
Old 01-28-2014, 01:38 PM
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I feel his breakdown had more to do with realizing how he felt and wondering how it would effect our marriage, and less to do with what actually happened. I could be wrong, but I know he continues to worry about losing me because of this.

Its a complicated situation for all involved and will take time to work through it all.
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  #16  
Old 01-28-2014, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dagferi View Post
Jealous sure... emotionally having a breakdown where you freak out over someone whom you are not in a relationship with beyond flirting. Especially with someone who tried to ruin your life by getting yiu in trouble at work is stupid.

M is a monster in my opinion.
I am specifically responding to the 'If you're Poly...' part, I don't feel whether he is poly or not has any bearings on it. I agree that it is not a smart thing to do though.

As for M, she clearly is not interested in doing anything but seeking attention.

But be real D, this is not an argument about OPP.....
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  #17  
Old 02-02-2014, 01:15 AM
summertimesadness80 summertimesadness80 is offline
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Everything at first was a bit complicated. Now its where it should be. Cleared headed from the confused ass I was. The feelings are there, every off chance she'll message me and drop snippets of feelings. A reads and is informed about all conversations between me and M. I can honestly say this has brought A and myself closer together. I was going to go back and explain the feelings on the 1st, but no point. All I know this is self growth and im getting helpful insight on the situation. As well as see my wife come to understand this. We are close to have our son here. I am beyond happy and excited to have him. Again thanks for all yhe replies and help.
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  #18  
Old 02-05-2014, 05:15 AM
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Not a problem W, just let us know however we can continue to help. I think just knowing that A understands lifts a tremendous burden. Good luck with everything with your soon-to-be-born son, and do please keep us posted on how things are going in general.
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  #19  
Old 02-05-2014, 10:10 PM
summertimesadness80 summertimesadness80 is offline
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Things are like anything crazy event in semi normal people's lives. Lol. A is always my biggest fan and supporter and I keep her update on all conversation with M. Which helps alot. A has reached out to M, they are now Facebook friends. I didnt expect it the two talk so quickly. As of late M is distant but thats her thing. The thing that is most upsetting is knowing you love someone and they love you but their actions say otherwise. M has saying everything short of her true feelings. I have since began to distance myself as much as possible from her, even in light of A and M starting a friendship. A and myself like to say she skips alot, meaning in any given conversation if something comes up that reveal her intentions she dodge it like mad. I have been working on my way out of the job I have with M, not only because of her. I have reached the point of where I dont see myself goin any further there. If there are any job openings you know of for illustrator and creative writing let me know...lmao. good news: finished illustrations for a pregnancy book, so that gets to go in my resume. Other than that we are counting down the days cause I m ready to spend time with my boy.

M loves attention and the fact someone sees her not as an object but as a woman and a person. I m done playing the lift me up and make me feel good about myself game with her. Writing it out helps me put a new perspective on things and help me work out wanting her. And the support and love A gives makes it easier.
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  #20  
Old 02-05-2014, 10:34 PM
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You know the old sayings, "Talk is cheap," and, "Actions speak louder than words." In what ways does M demonstrate/prove that she loves you? It's an important question.

And when we talk about love, do we just mean, "Ooh I think W is hot and I like the attention he showers on me," or do we mean, "I care about how W feels and I will speak words and take actions that will help him to feel better." Two very different definitions for the same word -- an example of why I'm usually really cautious about using the word love. It sounds so nice, so noble, so romantic, yet in practice it can say everything and nothing all in the same breath. That word and I have a formal truce, that's about the best I can say for it.

Perhaps more will be revealed in A's conversations with M. Hopefully so.
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