Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 01-23-2014, 03:24 PM
summertimesadness80 summertimesadness80 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: lawton ,ok
Posts: 19
Default from co workers to work spouses to who knows

Hi my name is..lets say W. I am 34 and live in the midwest. If that's what you want to call it.
I wqs raised in the traditional manner. Husband and wife, only love that person till death and beyond. But as I grew up and experimented. I realized that the world is really complicated.

I have actually been in a poly relationship before. Core couple older husband and wife..I was her bf and he had a gf. Their personal problems before the start of the relationship, broke the entire family apart. During which I learn alot about loving more than one person.

Fast forward a few years, I got back in contact with someone I crushed on in junior high and high school. We were in band together and she never changed since high school. We began dating and now married. I began working a job doing surveillance, easy good pay. There I met a woman lets call her M..and call wife A. M came in and I wasn't attracted to her in any way. Year or so goes by, M is moved to my shift. She is very gossip heavy and immature for her age, especially being 2 years young married with 4 children. We started talking and sharig information about our lives, giving advice where needed. That backfired, she told a person at work thats very unsavory about a stomach issue I have and it became a joke. There were other things. I became angry with her and stopped our friendship.

There is where all normalcy ends.

We start back up. Rule no filters, no lying, no backstabbing. Etc. We start talking and she lets slip she was depressed and highly upset with herself for all she had done and will prove herself to be a better friend to me. Since during all this I had more "dirt" on her than she did me , but never told anyone. Months go by. We begin texting heavily, at this point M discovered her hubby had been cheating. We talked it put and I was like if you love him give him a chance. 4 kids and a 8 year marriage is important to some. He changed, he didnt care about her the kids or the marriage, and became abusive. Told her to end it.
At this time work drama from other coworkers, forced me to volunteer shift change.
Before she did end it, things got crazy between them. That was the day I was awaken but my text alert going off saying shr missed me and that she was always happy to see me at work. That I was her work husband. We laughed about it.
I didnt think much about it and feelings for her I thought were out of friendship.

New Year. Get a text she kissed someone. I flipped. I had an emotional breakdown. The entire time I said I was marrie and this made no sense. I filled y wife in and it broke her heart, hearing her husband having feelings for someone else.

I told my wife about my poly relationship and how yes its possible to have feelings for more than one person. In some ways she is letting it sink in. Some days its a repetitive process starting from the beginning and reexamining it all. M still text off and on but nothin like before, though at times she'll say she misses me and so on. Not to long ago she finally said she thought of me. I aked how long, she said since before her husband cheated. She keeps her feelings a secret now and skips over questioning bout how we feel. Her actions speak loud when at work. I made an off handed compliment about a perfume she wore about how I liked it on her. She said she stop wearing it cause another coworker hated its smell. But when my back was turned she quickly put it on.

Now she says we'll meet up to talk or she'll call later to discuss everything, but then days goes by with nothing. I'll text and M will just say whe was distracted. I hate feeling so much for her if she is goin to toy with my emotions. My wife is trying hard to be supportive and accept my feelings for M. I wish I could forget her but its a deep emotional attachment. It hurts to hate her and same when having to work. We dont talk at all at work. Its like a hole of unfinished conversations. I recently called her out on her actions and som of the things she said. Nothing yet.

Life is complex and crazy. M says she doesn't want me to get caught up I her stressed out world. I told her if she wasnt a friend and meant nothing to me then I wouldnt have wasted my time to care.

Btw M always says during a conversation she'll always worry and care for me. A thinks she is an emotion leech. Feeding on the attention she is getting and returning none. In a lot of ways M has made my relationship with A stronger. We talk more and do more. A doesnt see it but its there.i
Reply With Quote

confused, relationships

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 06:16 PM.