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Old 01-17-2014, 12:53 PM
InfinitePossibility InfinitePossibility is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 646

Originally Posted by scarletzinnia View Post
But how many creeps who are only out to get laid are going to stick around for multiple platonic dates, where they will be presumably required to be charming and engaging and have decent manners, if they can just go find some drunk chick at a bar and get laid the same night? Some, sure, but not many.

Nothing I said here "slut shamed" anyone. Not sleeping with someone right away is a FILTERING TOOL. Nothing more, nothing less.
True - not sleeping with somebody on a first date is a filtering tool but like most tools, you have to know what it is you're trying to do with them in order to get the results you want out of them.

The folk who are just out to get laid are easy to spot and tend to get rid of themselves. I know that it's not nice to think you have a connection with somebody who then proceeds to ignore you or is horrible to you but I think that is far from the worst thing that can happen.

The folks I'd be much more interested in avoiding aren't those guys - it's the guys who will go on multiple platonic dates. Who are charming and lovely and don't disappear if they don't get sex right away.

Among that group are guys who seem just as they are - genuine, friendly blokes who want to make a connection. Also in that group are the ones who think that 'nice' girls don't want sex - you know - the ones who class girls that are 'easy' as not being suitable to meet their family or build a long term relationship with.

That second group aren't so easy to spot. You can get to know somebody really very well without those attitudes being obvious. I am very keen to avoid building relationships with people who have those attitudes. I certainly don't want somebody like that to be central in my life. I don't want to go through the pain of extracting myself from a relationship I've spent months building or worse - make excuses for the person because I've come to care about them.

The fastest way to spot them imo, is to sleep with new people very quickly. Preferably on the first date. The ones looking for a 'nice' girl bugger off at that point. The decent guys who are looking for a connection and also think that it's okay for women to like sex hang around.

You need to know what you are filtering for it to work well.

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expectations, newbies, polyamory, relationship anarchy, sex negative, wtf

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