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View Poll Results: What kind of physical touch do you like in a loving relationship(s)?~
Practically inside each other's clothes.~ 4 25.00%
Cuddling, leaning up against each other, etc.~ 6 37.50%
Hugging.~ 2 12.50%
Holding arms.~ 0 0%
Holding hands.~ 2 12.50%
Being near each other, but not touching at all.~ 1 6.25%
Being no where near each other's 'spaces' (like farther than arms'-length).~ 1 6.25%
Voters: 16. You may not vote on this poll

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  #21  
Old 01-13-2014, 07:14 PM
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ColorsWolf ColorsWolf is offline
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Great responses, every one!~ ^_^

I wish I could edit my poll to include the previously mentioned changes.~

Oh well.~

^_^

Love,

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  #22  
Old 01-13-2014, 08:27 PM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
Someone who wanted distance all the time probably has some sort of traumatic past, aren't neurotypical and/or have sensory issues.
Eh, I won't hazard a guess at the overall probability, but that does describe me, personally, well enough. *shrug*
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  #23  
Old 01-14-2014, 08:17 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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*Checks the 'bubble' option*

I am very particular about who touches me, and who I touch, and when. I have strong boundaries around touch. It's something I need but I am careful about how that need gets met. For instance, I really dislike hugging someone I just met. I can tolerate it as most huggy people mean no harm. It takes a while for me to build enough trust and intimacy with someone to want to hug them, and be hugged in return. But once someone is in that circle, then I do want them to touch me and vice versa.

For me, there is a difference between touch between friends and touch between romantic partners. And there is a difference between touch that is appropriate in public and touch that is appropriate in private. I value privacy. I need privacy to build intimacy. Touch is one way I develop intimacy with someone - it's just not my first instinct. (It is Whip's first impulse. Whenever one of us is upset, or both, he wants to be in contact.) And I generally prefer to touch in private, even if it is non-sexual in nature. (Exceptions exist for more 'mobile' touching - I do like holding hands in public. However, my partners are generally much taller than me, with different gaits. Holding hands gets awkward after a while.

And I know from experiences in my own life that some people whose 'love language' is touch find me rejecting and difficult to figure out. Usually once I explain I am not rejecting *them* but I have a different timetable to physical intimacy (I am also a very slow cuddler. It's taken me years to get comfortable about cuddling with dear friends.) and that I don't begin with touch to build intimacy.
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  #24  
Old 01-15-2014, 07:50 PM
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Oldpolyman Oldpolyman is offline
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If I can make a generalization, in my experience, how you express love and affection depends on your age and personal comfort (which might be the same thing).
When we were young and had a lot more energy, we had a hard time keeping our hands off (and clothes on too) each other. These days, as we are a lot older, simple acts, like holding hands, becomes tremendously meaningful. Oh yes we love sex, but it's not as important as it once was.
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  #25  
Old 01-17-2014, 10:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldpolyman View Post
If I can make a generalization, in my experience, how you express love and affection depends on your age and personal comfort (which might be the same thing).
When we were young and had a lot more energy, we had a hard time keeping our hands off (and clothes on too) each other. These days, as we are a lot older, simple acts, like holding hands, becomes tremendously meaningful. Oh yes we love sex, but it's not as important as it once was.
Hugs
Why should we keep our clothes on at any age?~ When you take off your clothes you are just 'you', the "sexual" part happens in the mind and it's not inherent to "existing" as 'you', it's a cultural thing.~
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  #26  
Old 01-24-2014, 09:19 AM
Rayne Rayne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inyourendo View Post
If im not romantically involved with someone (have a sexual relationship) I do not like to be touched at all. I know a lot of people who are touchy feely with their friends but I am not
^^^^ this is how I am too. I usually can't get enough cuddling when I am involved with someone. It sux!
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