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Old 01-12-2014, 04:05 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Yelm, Washington
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Dunno if J's tried this, but I've heard that doing a bunch of her chores for her does wonders for a woman's libido.

And it could be a communication (not enough verbal/emotional intimacy) problem. Or like Snowbunny mentioned, could be that J's not that wound up about it, and not inclined to search out possible ways to get A interested. Do A and J have date nights? Just wondering.

A should probably flat-out ask J if this is a problem for him, and if it is, then A and J ought to start seeing a (preferably poly-friendly) counselor. Possibly a sex counselor, depending on what the problem turns out to be.

In a nutshell, if you want to make someone feel special, you have to do special things for them. But A needs to exert a little faith and effort too -- if this is a problem for J. Something for A to investigate, I think. Nothing blocks the solution to a problem quite like assumptions do. So first order of business is an in-depth discussion about it between A and J.

Having said all this, it occurs to me that this is really something that A and J need to work out between the two of them. Your place is to be a good friend and lover toward A, and a good friend toward J. Their bedroom issues are really out of scope of what's appropriate for you to try to fix. If A asks for your counsel, perhaps you might direct her to this thread or something along those lines.

Hope things continue to go well.
Kevin T.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"
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