Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > General Poly Discussions

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #751  
Old 10-05-2013, 01:43 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,294
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Thank you for your kind critique ....and insulting attack. Aren't there rules on attacking members ?
OK. I didn't attack you. I commented on the flavor of your posts, not your character. I overstated by saying "all his posts," and I am sorry. I'd amend that to say "many" or "most."


Quote:
So he/she didnt use it as therapy ....but accidental discovered it.
Well, you could say that. Using BDSM as therapy, you wouldn't say to your partner "Time for therapy, darling!" You just start playing and the result is, or can be, therapeutic. Just like in vanilla fucking, you don't necessarily go into it thinking, "I need stress relief," but one of the results of sex is stress relief. You might become conscious over time that sM, sex, exercise like running or racketball are stress relievers, but there are other reasons to enjoy these activities, of course. Like, they are fun.


Quote:
simulating incest .....being totally controlled and fucked by " mommy " or "daddy " ... being a father ...having been called daddy ..now dad I dont get it....I find it creepy. But thats just me ...to each their own
To each their own indeed. You're vanilla, you got weirded out and hurt by the repurcussions of your wife's BDSM, so you come here to this thread with practitioners of BDSM to bash it and express your views. I guess you find this... therapeutic? Are you two still married? Have you had much talking therapy to heal from this?

Quote:
I guess the age differences in the play partners might make a difference.
No, the age differences don't matter. Baby girls can have Daddies younger than them. Old sissies can have young Mistresses/Mamas. People have imaginations.

Quote:
Mags what is the age difference between you and miss pixie?
I am 22 years older than miss pixi, but we don't do ageplay, so I don't see the relevance. I have ageplayed some, back in 2009-10 with one guy. I was his mama and he, though being a few years older than me, played my younger daughter. He was into a bit of cross dressing and very subbie.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37
Reply With Quote
  #752  
Old 10-07-2013, 11:17 PM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 825
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magdlyn View Post
Well, you could say that. Using BDSM as therapy, you wouldn't say to your partner "Time for therapy, darling!" You just start playing and the result is, or can be, therapeutic. Just like in vanilla fucking, you don't necessarily go into it thinking, "I need stress relief," but one of the results of sex is stress relief. You might become conscious over time that sM, sex, exercise like running or racketball are stress relievers, but there are other reasons to enjoy these activities, of course. Like, they are fun.

That's about the viewpoint I'd take on it. Maybe it has a side effect of being therapeutic, maybe it helps you to let your guard down and to practice being vulnerable if you're scared of being close to people due to past baggage, maybe it helps make you feel connected and bonded to a partner that you don't get to see as often as you'd like - lots of potential benefits to consensual BDSM from what I've seen on top of the "fun" aspect.
__________________
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Reply With Quote
  #753  
Old 10-08-2013, 05:51 PM
dingedheart dingedheart is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,287
Default

Quote:
Quote:
London
My motivation. Ever read something and it made you wonder. After reading the article it Made me think how did the parents got involved in master/slave relationship? The irony if they were executing some sort of self therapy from past abuse . Ive heard that it is cyclical. So in 15 yrs we might be looking at therapy from the therapy. And what roll do you think will be more therapeutic ? Tied down and blindfolded...or the Master ?
Wait, wait, wait, abusing your kid isn't BDSM. Ever. So these people weren't using BDSM as therapy and then accidentally abused their kid during one of their sessions.
I did say in the previous post that I agreed that BDSM is not a cause of child abuse. Go back and check.

How do you know how or why they got into BDSM? It might have started years before they had the kid ? ?? They didnt accidentally abuse their kid...they planned it . And according to the article it was more than once .

Coming back to "The question" and current topic was: will the kid grow up to practice BDSM as therapy?
A boy raped by parents, grows up to want to be beaten and raped. Is that really good? Do partners really want to be part of beating and raping the adult that boy will become and calling it 'therapy' for him? How do they feel about bdsm as therapy when they see the whole of a person's life, from the time he was a child being raped? Does it still seem like a good idea to rape and beat him as an adult?

Quote:
According to CG the list of banned topic on fetlife are ; "Scat is now against the TOU of Fet (used to not be so there are older mentions in places). Basically scat, bestiality, incest, and anything underage is not allowed on Fet."
Why is that ?

And isn't everyones kink individual to them ?

Quote:
These were two paedophiles (Yes, women can be paedophiles! Imagine that!) who were abusing a child. Yes, they may have got off on the fact that he was "ordering" her to do it, and that she, as his submissive, was willing to do anything for him, but ultimately to carry something like that out, especially when the person is locked up and you don't have to engage with them at all, she must have been into it too. This wasn't kink gone wrong, this was two paedophiles exercising their pathological fetishes.
and again.... unless you inside knowledge or read a more in depth interview with the parents there no way of knowing which came first or how this unfolded or who was the pedophile and who was the slave acting under the fear of punishment.
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Thank you for your kind critique ....and insulting attack. Aren't there rules on attacking members ?
OK. I didn't attack you. I commented on the flavor of your posts, not your character. I overstated by saying "all his posts," and I am sorry. I'd amend that to say "many" or "most."
"He's bitter, still! " ...sounds like character ...

And your point was to dismiss ?

I think a person consciously selecting BDSM as some sort of self therapy has a fool for a patient. Walk into a rape crisis center and float that idea .... "show of hands who thinks a violent gang rape this is a good idea.....(simulated consensual gang rape )....anyone ...anyone "

Quote:
To each their own indeed. You're vanilla, you got weirded out and hurt by the repurcussions of your wife's BDSM, so you come here to this thread with practitioners of BDSM to bash it and express your views. I guess you find this... therapeutic? Are you two still married? Have you had much talking therapy to heal from this?
You don't know what I am. Vanilla or otherwise . Nice little summary ......a little simple ...again your point ? to be dismissive or switch the focus onto me and my past...or both.

Bash ?...I asked a question ....... I disagree with treating a rape victim with a violent gang rape .

What was so offensive in the view I expressed ? It's very simliar to opal's

Yes I'm completely healed ... ...don't need to post on this thread as therapy .... but thanks for asking.
Reply With Quote
  #754  
Old 10-08-2013, 08:02 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,294
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Do partners really want to be part of beating and raping the adult that boy will become and calling it 'therapy' for him? How do they feel about bdsm as therapy when they see the whole of a person's life, from the time he was a child being raped? Does it still seem like a good idea to rape and beat him as an adult?
If BDSM of any kinds is the choice of any adult, no matter their background, --their choice, idea, and turn on, it is consensual, and practiced in a safe sane way-- I don't have a problem with it. It's a form of role playing. It's not "real" rape. Or kidnapping, or interrogation, or nurse/patient, or boss/secretary or age play or whatever! It's a game, it's fun, it feels good, it can be empowering and very loving. Sorry you just can't wrap your mind around that.

Quote:
I think a person consciously selecting BDSM as some sort of self therapy has a fool for a patient.
You're entitled to your opinion. But again, why feel compelled to come here and bash it to people who practice it? Are you calling us all fools? Or are we only fools if we receive therapeutic benefit, but non-fools if we do it just for fun?

Quote:
Bash ?...I asked a question ....... I disagree with treating a rape victim with a violent gang rape .
Again, if you can't see the difference between real rape and playtime rape fantasies or any other role playing game, I can't help you.


Quote:
Yes I'm completely healed
You don't come across that way. At all.
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37

Last edited by Magdlyn; 10-08-2013 at 10:29 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #755  
Old 10-08-2013, 09:04 PM
london london is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: UK - land of the free
Posts: 1,635
Default

Quote:
unless you inside knowledge or read a more in depth interview with the parents there no way of knowing which came first or how this unfolded or who was the pedophile and who was the slave acting under the fear of punishment.
The guy was locked up. She took her son there, of her own free will, to be abused by someone who would have otherwise had no access to them. On a wider note, research into female paedophiles shows that the minority of convicted offenders acted out of fear - more carried out the abuse to keep their romantic relationship with the abuser (turned a blind eye) or for their own sexual gratification.

Quote:
I did say in the previous post that I agreed that BDSM is not a cause of child abuse. Go back and check.

How do you know how or why they got into BDSM? It might have started years before they had the kid ? ?? They didnt accidentally abuse their kid...they planned it . And according to the article it was more than once .
It is irrelevant when they got into BDSM because child abuse has no place in BDSM. They were not practicing BDSM when they abused that child because BDSM involves consent, like polyamory does. A child of that age cannot consent to sexual activity. Again, it was two paedophiles expressing their pathological fetishes. That's it.
Reply With Quote
  #756  
Old 10-08-2013, 11:38 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 394
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
Why is that ?
I'm not sure on the scat. From what I understand it has something to do with Canadian law. As far in bestiality, pedophilia, and incest (because it is true in most cases) those are not allowed because of the fact that they are done in a lack of consent aspect. Talking about roleplay as family, animals, or age play is allowed just no talk of the actual thing.

Even in the kink world (and even with the belief system of your kink is not my kink but your kink is okay) consent is a needed part of it. If there isn't consent than you are dealing with abuse, assault, and rape. And those aren't kinks, those are crimes.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
Reply With Quote
  #757  
Old 12-27-2013, 03:39 PM
Magdlyn's Avatar
Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,294
Default

I read the first book of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy because I found it in a thrift store for a buck. It was just as bad as I expected.

Here is a HILARIOUS review of that book. Even if you haven't read it, only heard about it, this is good for a giggle.

http://badhostess.com/fiftyshades/
__________________
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37
Reply With Quote
  #758  
Old 12-27-2013, 03:57 PM
CattivaGattina CattivaGattina is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 394
Default

Reading that review makes me glad I've never even touched a copy of the 50 shades debacle.
__________________
Cattiva: Me
Woodsmith: My husband
Tighearn: boyfriend/dom
Merry: Tig's wife/slave
N8: Merry's boyfriend/owner
Elle: N8 girlfriend
Ruby: Part of the Leather Family
Logan: Leather Sir in the Family
Arc: Logan's boy
Holly: Leather family
K: Holly's sub
Reply With Quote
  #759  
Old 12-27-2013, 06:42 PM
Atlantis Atlantis is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 449
Default

Loved the review. Kotex-play I decided I have a hard limit on that one.

Dare I admit to having reading them?
I had jet lag, my sis-in-law had them, nothing else to read at 3am.
__________________
Me: 40s female
Prof: 50s male.
Reply With Quote
  #760  
Old 09-10-2014, 10:07 PM
SlowPoly's Avatar
SlowPoly SlowPoly is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 143
Default

Somebody wants clicks and is reviving old threads. Not the forum etiquette I prefer ...
__________________

SlowPoly vee hinge living between two homes

Mitch ('M') life partner co-parent former LDR
Woof ('W') life partner co-parent former spouse
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bdsm, d/s, discipline, dominant, fetishes, metamours, poly, relationships, sex play, submissive

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 01:59 PM.