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Old 12-23-2013, 07:16 PM
curiouscats curiouscats is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1
Default New here-need advice re: open marriage...

Greetings,

Totally new here on this board.

My wife and I (married 17 years, together 20 years; 3 kids) have recently decided we want to be in an open relationship. She shared this with me a couple of months ago, which I find very exciting. I am Bi, and she is straight. We have a good sex life (lately it's been fantastic)...but at many times in the past, it has been lackluster (kids, busy work schedules, etc.). Well, after talking about this, we talked about some ground rules vaguely, and decided to start exploring some options for us.

I was going to look into finding a guy on a local "alternative" sex personals site who would be into sharing himself w/ both of us.

She shared that she is very attracted to my best friend, whose wife is my wife's best friends-so, our best friends. Well...last week, my wife shared with me after talking about wanting to have sex with him, and me saying I trust her completely, that it had already happened about a week before. They had a 3-way: my wife, my best friend, and his wife. They were drunk, and somehow it just came up. I was shocked...but after the initial shock, was okay with it, even though it happened before we had really clarified ground rules. They have all stated that it was non a pre-planned thing, and his wife doesn't want it to happen again.

Well...now I'm having feelings of being left out of that scene. And now when my wife goes over to watch a movie on Sunday night at their house (a tradition for a while now-just the girls), I feel left out. The other night they decided to watch a movie (Bad Santa), that the 4 of us had talked about watching together, just us. Well...I work on Sunday nights generally, and my wife decided they were going to watch it without me. I felt left out again...and not about anything related to sex actually. I just want to be included in fun times with her and our friends. Well...now she is regretting telling me about their threesome. It ended up being just the girls watching the movie, as other people were there too.

Also-my best friend has also said he'd be open to having sex w/ my wife along with me (We're just not sure if his wife is ok with that yet though). And I'm fine w/ him having sex w/ my wife solo too.

And also-being Bi, my interest is that some of my needs get fulfilled here in the near future also.

How should we proceed? What can I do to show her it wasn't a mistake to tell me? How do I keep this situation exciting, sexy, and not drama-laden? How do I not feel left out?

I really appreciate any help/advice you can offer. Thanks!
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