Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Introductions

Notices

View Poll Results: How should we tell the Newbie? (please read post before answering)
The Secondary should tell the Newbie right away. 9 81.82%
The Secondary should tell the Newbie after their relationship progresses. 0 0%
You should tell the Newbie ASAP. 0 0%
You should tell the Newbie after her relationship with the Secondary progresses. 0 0%
Everyone should talk about this together ASAP. 2 18.18%
Everyone should talk about this after the relationship between the Newbie and Secondary progresses. 0 0%
You and the Primary should break up with the Secondary. 0 0%
Voters: 11. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #31  
Old 12-22-2013, 07:12 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 954
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Azzy View Post
...

This is not about me.

The Newbie's ex killed himself. She found the corpse.

This is not about me.
...

(Changed to color from white to purple because this is the part that I was missing, and I think others may have missed it as well...)

Jeez - that's rough...and totally NOT about you...
I'll echo the others...seek counselling...
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 12-22-2013, 09:12 AM
Azzy Azzy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneQSmythe View Post
(Changed to color from white to purple because this is the part that I was missing, and I think others may have missed it as well...)

Jeez - that's rough...and totally NOT about you...
I'll echo the others...seek counselling...
Ah, sorry, I wasn't sure what the rules were in this forum about potentially upsetting content and I didn't see a way to add "spoiler tags," so I tried to make that part highlight-only I got a talking-to from a mod about that on another forum once, so now I'm really cautious

But yeah, thank you, and thank you to kdt26417 as well.

I am in the process of seeking a mental health professional in my area who is accepting new patients.

The Secondary is back in therapy and back on antidepressants.

The Newbie seems to have retreated into her inner circle of friends. She hasn't contacted any of us or been active on Facebook.

I don't really know what else to say right now except that it helps to know that this forum is available to post on.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 12-22-2013, 09:23 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 954
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Azzy View Post
Ah, sorry, I wasn't sure what the rules were in this forum about potentially upsetting content and I didn't see a way to add "spoiler tags," so I tried to make that part highlight-only I got a talking-to from a mod about that on another forum once, so now I'm really cautious

Ah, I see. Yeah, I don't think that there is a rule against potentially upsetting content (you are allowed to swear and talk about sexual stuff/ including details) - and you did give a warning:

"The following content may be triggering to anyone who has dealt with a loved one's suicide."

All I knew was that I was confused and had to go back and figure out what I missed

I'm glad that all of you are seeking out the support and treatment that you each need. Some people need to withdraw when they are hurting and "lick their wounds" (me, for example) Others need people to reach out and draw them in...unless you really know a person it can be hard to discern what is healthiest for them.

Tend to yourself first. Then tend to your loved one's. Then you may be in a place that you can offer to tend for others....
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (together 21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (together 3 yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS; married to TT, poly male
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs on this site:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 12-22-2013, 03:37 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,176
Default Hidden message

I use my phone to access the forum most of the time. That part just looked like white space to me - hence the assumption about Newbie. It never occurred to me there was a sentence in that blank space. Thanks JQS for highlighting it - I had no idea otherwise.

Still a dreadful situation. I feel for Newbie, what a horrible thing. And for Secondary and for you. Do make sure to find someone to talk to. I am so glad you are taking steps to make that happen.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 12-22-2013, 11:02 PM
Hmm Hmm is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 26
Default

Quote:
I feel terrible for bothering her and adding extra stress to her life, even though everyone says I couldn't really have done anything to help.
Live and learn feel better soon <3
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:04 AM.