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  #371  
Old 12-17-2013, 08:44 PM
spookymulder spookymulder is offline
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Location: canada
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hello everyone,
it is so nice to find a renowned and open community to talk about relationships.
my name is jess, 23, i identify as queer and have been actively pursuing open relationships for a few years. i started identifying as poly a few years ago. i am currently in my second poly relationship, and it has been the most satisfying, and honest that i've ever felt within myself and it is the most confident i've ever felt in my ability to be a good partner. looking forward to growing, listening, and learning from all of you. thanks for having me along. i'm looking forward to becoming immersed in the community here.
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  #372  
Old 12-18-2013, 07:06 PM
Faya Faya is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2013
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Default Hi There,

My name is Faya, a single monogamous female from Europe. I myself am monogamous, but I have been in a relationship for two years with a polyman whom is married. His wife is poly too.

I have so many questions I cant find answers to, and speaking about this former relationship with friends is hard because they dont understand the polypart.

The break up took place very recently, I feel so heartbroken and I am looking for answers. It was a wonderfull but very bizar relationship, and the bizarro aspect had nothing to do with the polynature of the relationship, or so I think.

I'm looking for information and advice. Polyamory is not new to me, and I fully understand, accept and agree with the concept of it.I think it can be wonderfull.

Hoping to meet some friendly people here.

greetings Faya
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  #373  
Old 12-24-2013, 03:01 PM
AllTheLove AllTheLove is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
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Default Update!

Quote:
Originally Posted by AllTheLove View Post
Hello there! My name is Mae and I live on the East Coast of Canada.

I have four partners (three men, one woman).
My primary partner, Joe, and I have an eighteen-month-old daughter. Joe is bisexual. He's in a sexual, but not romantic, relationship with his best friend, Lincoln. He doesn't see other people.
My other two male partners are Harry and Wayne.
Harry is straight and otherwise single; he travels a lot for work and casually dates in different cities, but we're his home port.
Wayne is bisexual and has a live-in girlfriend, Annie. Wayne and Annie have several sexual relationships with men and women. Annie often joins us sexually but she is emotionally interested in only Wayne.
My female partner, Maggie, is Lincoln's girlfriend. She doesn't see other people romantically or sexually, as per her agreement with Lincoln.

That looks complicated. Here's a cheat sheet:

Mae: Romantically and sexually involved with Joe, Harry, Wayne, and Maggie. Sexually involved with Lincoln and Annie.
Joe: Romantically and sexually involved with Mae. Sexually involved with Lincoln.
Harry: Romantically and sexually involved with Mae. Sexually involved with other women.
Wayne: Romantically and sexually involved with Mae and Annie. Sexually involved with other men and women.
Maggie: Romantically and sexually involved with Mae and Lincoln.
Lincoln: Romantically and sexually involved with Maggie. Sexually involved with Joe.
Annie: Romantically and sexually involved with Wayne. Sexually involved with other men and women.

Everything changed in the last month for the first time in quite a while.

Joe and I got engaged to be married.
Joe and Lincoln had a falling out.
Harry and I had a falling out.
Wayne and I had a falling out.
Wayne and Annie had a falling out.
I began a sexual relationship with an old flame, Rod.
Annie began a sexual relationship with Rod.
Rod's old flame, Nicole, began a sexual and romantic relationship with Wayne.

Cheat sheet:

Mae: Romantically and sexually involved with Joe and Maggie. Sexually involved with Rod and Annie.
Joe: Romantically and sexually involved with Mae.
Wayne: Romantically and sexually involved with Nicole. Sexually involved with other men and women.
Maggie: Romantically and sexually involved with Mae and Lincoln.
Lincoln: Romantically and sexually involved with Maggie.
Annie: Sexually involved with Rod and Mae.
Nicole: Romantically and sexually involved with Wayne. Sexually involved with Rod.

The awesome thing about the way we live our lives is that, although some relationships have ended (for now), everyone is still able to pleasantly interact with one another.

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  #374  
Old 01-09-2014, 04:03 AM
Djenn Djenn is offline
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Here, I am Djenn, I semi accidentally became involved with a friend and her husband, I say that because she initiated things that neither he nor I would have considered. We're currently sitting somewhere between a triad and a vee. Sexually it's a vee, due to my not being into girls, but physically and emotionally it's closer to a triad, or is one (I sleep with them, cuddle puddles, etc.) The decision to join was made because we've hit a wall. My girl has become jealous of he and I, in all sorts of interesting ways, due mostly to watching two people she loves fall in love with each other. I don't entirely think it's fair to have joined because of a problem, but It's not a super common relationship issue and the generally suggested "leave" would only make everyone unhappy. I know step one is communication (that also being steps two through infinity), so maybe I'm looking less for a solution than support, the reassurance that as odd as this is it's not a singularity, that it can be overcome.
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  #375  
Old 01-22-2014, 03:52 AM
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Myrrhine1 Myrrhine1 is offline
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Location: Chicago Area, Illinois
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Hi. You can call me Myrrhine (or My for short I guess). I live in the Great Lakes area in the States. I am cisgender female.

I'm only seeing one person right now.

I'm engaged to a wonderfully supportive monogamous male with a blurry gender identity (let's call him Jay).

I have considered myself poly for almost two years, but I have little experience in practice because I am very choosy with my inner circle of friends and I need to have a close friendship with a person to consider dating them.
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  #376  
Old 02-03-2014, 05:32 AM
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Indie82 Indie82 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Greenville nc
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Default Married and researching the poly world

Hi.
30s married 10 years. No kids.

My husband became involved with a mother of 3 (from 2 different fathers. And she's been married twice not to one of the fathers).

My husband wants to pursue but is respecting my time request to o grasp how I feel and to better our relationship to handle this new situation.

I. Love. Them. Both. I am empathize easily. I love his passion for her and I love her love for life and her kids.

I am happy with attention, sex, etc I am just getting some much needed experience from this very awesome forum.

I believe I am mono but I can understand how if I had a friendship like my husband does with CA, that I'd want an even closer connection.
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"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people." Carl Jung
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  #377  
Old 03-12-2014, 03:21 AM
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pluto pluto is offline
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Location: oregon
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hi.

30, single, childfree, atheist.

i don't have much to write here. i have no experience with polyamory but i've suspected for some time that i'm polyamorous. a non-poly friend who is in the community because of their polyamorous parents suggested i join a forum and meet people/read. so here i am!

Last edited by pluto; 03-12-2014 at 03:48 AM.
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  #378  
Old 03-16-2014, 05:25 AM
HazelEyes HazelEyes is offline
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Location: Central Florida
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Default Married and polycurious

I am 31, female, living in central Florida, married to a man in a traditional monogamous marriage. No children (not for another year or two, at least), married for 4 years. I have been exploring and thinking about polyamory for some time now, but approaching it cautiously.

I read through Hoyam's recent post (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69243) and it sounds like a situation I could foresee happening for myself, but would like to prevent if possible. My husband is not interested in polyamory though he may be willing to reluctantly allow me some sort of trial period/introduction to the lifestyle... but it could be disastrous, so I am trying to take the time to explore and really try to understand myself, my heart, and my desires. I would need to be prepared to accept consequences such as potential divorce, if I decided that I really wanted a poly lifestyle.

One of the things I hope to discover is whether I am really "poly" or not. I hope that reading various sites, blogs, and forum posts (as well as talking to polyamorous folks in a local meetup group) will help me determine if I really need or want to pursue polyamory. I have always tended to develop crushes while in committed relationships (not purely just an attraction), and I wonder what this means, if anything. I have never cheated in a relationship except for what you might call "emotional cheating," but I don't want to be deceitful. So I am trying to understand myself, my needs, and considering the possibility that maybe a polyamorous lifestyle would be a better fit for me.
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  #379  
Old 03-16-2014, 04:22 PM
Luna393 Luna393 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 14
Default Break up

I'm a pansexual gender neutral female and recently became single after my ex-boyfriend stepped on my heart with cleats a few months ago. A little over 2 years ago I was divorced from my ex-husband who was open to me exploring polyamory, but the marriage was ill-suited to us for a few reasons that we decided to divorce for. We are still platonic friends. My ex-boyfriend wanted monogamy with me and I obliged without argument and even planned to marry him--I loved him--and he cheated on me and dumped me. I am better off without him. He wasn't nice.

I am interested in meeting a woman or a couple for a tentative friendship that could blossom into something more.

I'm planning on staying in Central Florida for another year before I begin doing traveling work for a couple of years so that I can save up money to start a homestead and build tiny houses.
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  #380  
Old 03-17-2014, 02:08 AM
MorningTwilight MorningTwilight is offline
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Location: Austin, TX
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelEyes View Post
I am 31, female, living in central Florida, married to a man in a traditional monogamous marriage. No children (not for another year or two, at least), married for 4 years. I have been exploring and thinking about polyamory for some time now, but approaching it cautiously.

(...husband reluctant, may offer "trial period," HazelEyes is afraid he'll bang the veto hammer and she'll be forced to choose, which may mean divorce...)

One of the things I hope to discover is whether I am really "poly" or not. I hope that reading various sites, blogs, and forum posts (as well as talking to polyamorous folks in a local meetup group) will help me determine if I really need or want to pursue polyamory. I have always tended to develop crushes while in committed relationships (not purely just an attraction), and I wonder what this means, if anything. I have never cheated in a relationship except for what you might call "emotional cheating," but I don't want to be deceitful. So I am trying to understand myself, my needs, and considering the possibility that maybe a polyamorous lifestyle would be a better fit for me.
You sound a lot like me. In my case, my marriage ended after two years of trying very hard to bridge the gap, and a third of negotiating the divorce itself. Once I had disclosed what I had been feeling, there was no going back.

In your case, although of course divorce is painful as hell, you have less at stake given that you have no children. I don't have a pat answer for you, although I will suggest in the strongest possible terms that you figure this out before you have any!

If you can find a poly-friendly therapist, that will be an enormous help to you in clarifying to you if you're "really poly" vs. having crushes and being curious. If you can persuade your husband to go to some sessions with you, and to allow you the room to explore it (and possibly fail at it), that's the ideal solution, but right now, he's probably rather fearful that he'd lose you, which is likely why he is so reluctant.

Most of us marry because we believe the illusion of permanence that it appears to offer. It isn't there, really, but some are EXTREMELY reluctant to accept that nothing in life is permanent, including love and relationships. Marriage, unfortunately, makes it much, much more difficult to part company.

Wish you the best,
MT
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