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  #11  
Old 12-16-2013, 11:56 AM
alexi alexi is offline
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Thank you. I have seen most of his videos. All the more it supports the case for non-monogamous relationships.
However I feel unless there is the natural family support polyamory as practised now will still exhibit lacunae and endless mutations.
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  #12  
Old 12-16-2013, 08:15 PM
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For what it's worth, I've been in a stable poly-fi unit for almost eight years (the whole of my time lived as a polyamorist so far), and lived far away from any other family members (and without outing ourselves to any family members) for most of that time. With the passing of time (and little to no external support), the three of us have grown steadier and more solid together, but we haven't (and won't) have any children (unless our pets count).

During the 5+ years I've participated on poly forums (and the time much of this year that I've spent among the people of a live local poly group), I've found that poly is wonderful in its diversity of successful models. That's strictly my own observation, but I don't worry too much about changing the whole poly landscape, outside promoting thorough honesty and consideration, and supporting those who wish to live a life similar to that of the Mosuo. I think there are many good ways to live polyamorously, which suits the human species well.
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  #13  
Old 12-17-2013, 06:50 AM
alexi alexi is offline
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Is polyamory very much different from FWB? If so, in what way?
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Old 12-17-2013, 06:58 AM
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Is monogamy very much different from one-on-one FWB? If so, in what way?
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Old 12-17-2013, 07:52 AM
alexi alexi is offline
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Thank you for the clarification. So Polyamory is just a synonym of FWB.
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:06 AM
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If you choose to be deliberately obtuse I'm not going to stop you.
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Old 12-17-2013, 09:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alexi View Post
Thank you for the clarification. So Polyamory is just a synonym of FWB.
Polyamory has as much to do with FWB as Monogamy has to do with FWB.

They are equal in comparison because they both are separate from it.
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Old 12-17-2013, 10:38 AM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alexi View Post
Is polyamory very much different from FWB? If so, in what way?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emm View Post
Is monogamy very much different from one-on-one FWB? If so, in what way?
Quote:
Originally Posted by RichardInTN View Post
Polyamory has as much to do with FWB as Monogamy has to do with FWB.

They are equal in comparison because they both are separate from it.
I'd actually say that neither mono nor poly is all that different from FWB, if the 'ship(s) in question is/are healthy. The exact type of benefits can vary.

I can't relate to why some folks say FWB as if it's a bad/inferior thing, or as if it were synonymous with "fuck buddy" (worlds of difference between those two concepts, IYAM).
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  #19  
Old 12-17-2013, 02:13 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
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Its common for FWB to get some backlash.. FWB's like lots of labels have full range of meanings.

.From friends that simply fuck without commitment or even honesty (aka the booty call) which likely relates more to swinging.
.Or Friends that you love sharing intimate time with you, like your lovers.

So it can be poly and can be excluded from poly. Just depends on how you view FWB's. But no, it is not a synonym. They can overlap in meaning.. but not always

For the record, I really dislike the term evolved polyamory. haha.. it wigs me out since it makes poly sound like something occurring as a logical progression to monogamy. Which I don't believe it is. Its a whole different staircase, not a better one haha..
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  #20  
Old 12-17-2013, 08:11 PM
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@ Ariakas ... agreed.

Re (from alexi):
Quote:
"Maybe the poly community needs to adapt and evolve."
No offense, but you should definitely know what polyamory is before proposing a plan to change its landscape.

According to Wiktionary, polyamory is "any of various practices involving romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners with the knowledge and consent of all involved."

While Wikipedia says,

Quote:
"Polyamory (from Greek poly, meaning 'many' or 'several,' and Latin amor, 'love') is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. It is distinct from swinging (which emphasizes sex with others as merely recreational) and may or may not include polysexuality (attraction towards multiple genders and/or sexes).
Polyamory, often abbreviated as poly, is often described as 'consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy.' The word is sometimes used in a broader sense to refer to sexual or romantic relationships that are not sexually exclusive, though there is disagreement on how broadly it applies; an emphasis on ethics, honesty, and transparency all around is widely regarded as the crucial defining characteristic."
It continues:

Quote:
"In 1999, [I think it was Morning Glory] Zell-Ravenheart [the apparent originator of the word] was asked by the editor of the Oxford English Dictionary to provide a definition of the term (which the dictionary had not yet recognized; the words "polyamory, -ous, and -ist" were added to the OED in 2006). On their website, the Ravenhearts [Morning Glory and Oberon] shared their submission to the OED, which follows:

Quote:
'The practice, state or ability of having more than one sexual loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved.'
The Ravenhearts then further explained their views on the above definition:

Quote:
'This term was meant to be inclusive, and in that context, we have never intended to particularly exclude "swinging" per se, if practitioners thereof wished to adopt the term and include themselves. As far as we have understood, swinging specifically does not involve "cheating," and it certainly does involve having "multiple lovers!" Moreover, we understand from speaking with a few swinging activists that many swingers are closely bonded with their various lovers, as best friends and regular partners.
The two essential ingredients of the concept of "polyamory" are "more than one;" and "loving." That is, it is expected that the people in such relationships have a loving emotional bond, are involved in each other's lives multi-dimensionally, and care for each other. This term is not intended to apply to merely casual recreational sex, anonymous orgies, one-night stands, pick-ups, prostitution, "cheating," serial monogamy, or the popular definition of swinging as "mate-swapping" parties.
Polyamory is about truthful communication with all concerned parties, loving intent, erotic meeting, and inclusivity (as opposed to the exclusivity of monogamy and monamory). On the basis of our own personal friendships with a few participants in the very large, diverse groundswell of human energy sometimes called the "Swinger's Movement," many -- perhaps most -- self-identified "swingers" do seem to fulfill our criteria of being polyamorous.
However, Ryam Nearing of Loving More says: "In all my talks with swingers it seems that the traditional (and most widespread) way of swinging is not polyamory as it is primarily sexual and specifically not relationship oriented. Some swingers and some locals allow for/choose more emotional connection, but they are the exception rather than the rule."'"
Opinions will vary on whether and how much poly and FWB overlap.

The Mosuo seem to me to be practicing one model of polyamory.

Perhaps it's worth noting that on thing Wikipedia says about the Mosuo is,

Quote:
"The large majority of women know their children's fathers; it is actually a source of embarrassment if a mother cannot identify a child's father. But, 'unlike many cultures which castigate mothers and children without clear paternity, Na children induce no such censure.' At a child's birth, the father, his mother and sisters come to celebrate, and bring gifts. On New Year's Day, a child visits the father to pay respect to him and his household. A father also participates in the coming-of-age ceremony. Though he does not have an everyday role, the father is nevertheless an important partner."
You could do further research but the above links are a place to start.
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Last edited by kdt26417; 12-17-2013 at 08:17 PM.
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