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  #31  
Old 12-08-2013, 10:24 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
If anyone has a problem with any of my opinions of what people should do, kindly follow the helpful passive-aggressive link in my signature.
If I have problems with the way you express your opinions, I prefer to bring them into the light of day rather than playing games.

Fear not, I have absolutely no expectation that you will change or become more helpful in the future. I respect your right to be stubborn and obstinate.

I choose to call you out more for the benefit of others who get sucked in to your games, to help them understand your tendency to express your opinions in a way that disregards the autonomy and experiences of others. Then, hopefully, they can choose to react to your words in a way that does not cause themselves to feel hurt, angry, or upset.

Hey, I get it. I myself used to think that the internet existed solely for the purpose of hearing myself speak, and that people asked questions with the deliberate intention of giving me a platform on which to be a know-it-all. Then I grew out of it. Now I actually try to help people make sense of their situation and get in touch with what's really going on in their lives. I'm not perfect at it, but hey, I'm not a professional. It's harder work and less fun, but far more rewarding. It feels nice when people respond to my words with gratitude and understanding rather than anger and belligerence.
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  #32  
Old 12-09-2013, 09:59 AM
london london is offline
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I am completely uninterested in what you think about what I think so trying to confront me about it is pointless. Following me around and trying to warn people about me is bordering on obsessive and rather tiresome.

I think that instead of chasing me around trying to protect others from the evil London Lady, you should concentrate on ensuring your own advice to the members of the forum is apt and appropriate. If it is, you needn't worry, the people asking questions will gravitate towards the person they feel understands them best. My type of advice is the type of advice people wish they listened to when everything has gone tits up. That's fine, I can live with that.

Trying to stop me expressing myself the way I choose to isn't your job. Moderators can and do reign me in where they feel necessary. It seems they agree that me posting my opinions in the way I do isn't breaching any rules of the forum, regardless of how likable a trait it is.

So by all means continue on your resentful and bitter tirade, if it gives you that warm, fuzzy glow that you are in fact helping someone, but know that it is going to be absolutely futile. My opinions are just that, mine, and you won't change them, so maybe it's best just to hit ignore.
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  #33  
Old 12-10-2013, 01:08 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by london View Post
I am completely uninterested in what you think about what I think
I find it amusing that you demonstrate this with a post that's longer than the one you're "completely uninterested" in. I've always found that when I'm truly uninterested in something, I just move on. Just sayin.
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Gralson: my husband (works out of town).
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The most dangerous phrase in the English language is "we've always done it this way."
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  #34  
Old 12-10-2013, 02:05 PM
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The OP is looking for ways to keep safer sex fun. Let's focus our responses in this thread to suggestions on how to do that, shall we? Thanks.
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  #35  
Old 12-10-2013, 05:12 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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why cant we all just love each other!!!!?!?!?
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  #36  
Old 12-11-2013, 07:46 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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I think one key to safe sex is just communication. My two married gay boyfriend swing with guys they meet online. They say they really check these guys out first. Chat with them online, get to know them. People generally list their HIV status online. Because I'm very involved with guy men, I tend to be focused on HIV status more that other STDs (aren't all of them except herpes curable?) My naivte here. So, if they meet someone who doesn't use condoms or is positive, they just move on.

I tend to be pretty easily stratified, so I find the more safe sex to be great! Ie, I love kissing, I love being fingered, giving hand jobs and so on. But again, I feel there is always a risk. Always. No matter what.

My husband has had very serious ED since a teenager. He has learned through patience and persistence to use a condom. I don't mean to be cruel, but to a certain extent, that is for the man to figure out, not the lover. I would absolutely not fuck someone because they say I have ED, can't use a condom. For me, for starters, that would put the responsibility of ME exclusively not to get pregnant and that's fucked up. I have empathy for men with ED, but I also am not willing to take responsibility for someone's sexuality. Esp since almost no guy I've been with has ever tried to give me an orgasm! LOL
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  #37  
Old 12-11-2013, 07:57 PM
bofish bofish is offline
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Actually, I just had a funny thought. If you go on Scruff or Grinder people list their HIV status (and maybe other STDS). Why don't people do that on cupid? What makes heterosexuals less forthright? I don't think I've even been with a guy who asked ME before I asked HIM? What's up with that?
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  #38  
Old 12-12-2013, 03:52 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Some people do list their STI status on their Fetlife profiles. But it is uncommon enough to be noticeable.
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  #39  
Old 12-12-2013, 10:46 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bofish View Post
Actually, I just had a funny thought. If you go on Scruff or Grinder people list their HIV status (and maybe other STDS). Why don't people do that on cupid? What makes heterosexuals less forthright? I don't think I've even been with a guy who asked ME before I asked HIM? What's up with that?
When I was on OKC-I did. I can't imagine NOT doing so. Of course-I am very open about it with anyone, friend or foe. It's a fact that I have herpes. SO I really don't give a hot damn who knows. As far as I'm concerned it's just common knowledge.
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  #40  
Old 12-14-2013, 02:57 AM
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Default Fun / safe Sex

Since my wives have generally recruited their best friends as potential wives, they pretty much know their sexual history, but our path has been no unprotected sex of any kind until testing returns an all clear.
We often required testing twice, once when they expressed interest and again when they became part of our family. It was more meaningful to save unprotected relations for rhe intimate time after vows to each other.
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