Polyamory.com Forum  

Go Back   Polyamory.com Forum > Polyamory > Poly Relationships Corner


Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 12-10-2013, 04:42 PM
YouAreHere's Avatar
YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,343

Perhaps the devil is in the details? What's the difference between this situation and when my partner tells a person he's dating that he doesn't have the time to develop a relationship into the "partner" stage, and that they'll need to grab the time they can, around each others' schedules?

He's not telling her that M1 or I are limiting him, but in reality, his schedules with us (and work, and his daughter) will limit his time to develop any new relationships. In his particular case, it didn't work, but they tried and both had enough schedule constraints that it wasn't going to be feasible.

BoH may not need to tell anyone new that "my BF has said that weekends are his" but instead say "weekends are unavailable". Will that be enough for someone new? Maybe not. But it's honest, and it's not passing blame to her BF. And if it becomes "not enough" then maybe BoH and her BF can negotiate?
Dramatis personae:
Me: 47/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 48/M, Partner of 6 years.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I went on a couple dates with. Divorced, Mono, "just friends".
Xena: 47/F, Chops' partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 09:16 PM.