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  #11  
Old 12-09-2013, 01:52 AM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Default photo hunt?

I have to ask...

What's erotic photo hunt? Is that a wacky Seattle thing?
  #12  
Old 12-09-2013, 09:57 AM
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It sounds like you might benefit from looking at your expectations and see if perhaps you are being a bit unrealistic or unreasonable.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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  #13  
Old 12-09-2013, 10:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
It sounds like you might benefit from looking at your expectations and see if perhaps you are being a bit unrealistic or unreasonable.
I am concerned that this previously amazing woman who appeared interested in pursuing a relationship with them is being cast as a "basket (case)" now?

I could be wrong and would appreciate some more information but it looks close to a woman falling off her pedestal because she was a broken Unicorn i.e. the fact that she admitted being more interested in the woman than the man and the fact that she has an ongoing sexual relationship with another man?
  #14  
Old 12-09-2013, 11:42 AM
pulliman pulliman is offline
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I dunno, I'd wait to hear what was talked about in the four hours before assuming anything about unicorn nature. Sounds like a lot of stories were told and they weren't the kind of person hersweetleaf is interested in. Just giving the benefit of the doubt here, people...
  #15  
Old 12-09-2013, 04:12 PM
EpsilonLyr EpsilonLyr is offline
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First off, yay Walking Dead! Ok, serious now...

Hmm, I hate how something can seem to be going so well, one gets their hopes up (sometimes more than they should... always in my case), but then the awkwardness sets in. The anxiety between parties involved... the "what if." Trying not to assume to much here, but I could see how she'd be hesitant if she already has someone in her life, she's got the potential you, and also considering your hubby as well. Thats' a lot of people for one person to handle, at least I would think. But it depends on the individual. Anyway, I was thinking about the same thing as scarletzinnia: perhaps she's more into you than your hubby. Would that be a deal-breaker?

Last edited by EpsilonLyr; 12-09-2013 at 04:14 PM.
  #16  
Old 12-09-2013, 04:31 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
I have to ask...

What's erotic photo hunt? Is that a wacky Seattle thing?
hahahah. no its a video game kinda, where theres 2 pictures with 5 differences, you have to find the differences in the time given. theres regular photo hunt, but its not as fun as erotic (which is usually just super soft core ladies)
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  #17  
Old 12-09-2013, 04:50 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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ok, so as for the "basket case" reference, shes been previously admitted to a mental ward in the past, is taking meds off and on (currently off), and has wild mood swings. we personally haven't seen them, but her actions are indicative of mental instability. i have been in the same boat, and understand what comes with being with someone like that. its not easy, and it takes a lot more work than if being with someone that didn't have those problems. that's all i meant.

as for the deal breaker with her being with me, and not hubs. weve progressed so far with her, together, that we both have feelings for her. the way i took it was that shes not exactly into hubs, or attracted him, and i know he felt the same way because his aura changed. he was obviously upset, and rightfully so. shes alluded that she wants to be with both of us, but because of the boyfriend (more on that situation in a second) and it would take a while, which is normal and healthy i think. but yes, it wouldn't be an idyllic situation as we are a unit, and would feel weird dating separately, at least right now. if that's something we can talk about and get to at some point, then that's fine. but it will be something that we would have to process about.

now on to the boyfriend.
that night she was on her phone texting him through out our date night, and pretty much said that he was sleeping in her bed while she was out, so she went home to him, we go to bed, wake up entirely too early, and i see all these messages about how she broke up with her boyfriend, and that it wasn't us that caused it, but shes back and forth with it was a good decision, to it was a bad one breaking up with him. im not sure how we stand in this whole thing, of if she even thinks about us. the thing with her, shes sooooo hard to get to communicate, and i understand that, but i feel like were in the dark, and just some sort of in between fun time, she has when things aren't going right.


and yes, there was all these wonderful things about her, like fate led us to her, we knew the same people, same doctors, little things that were like, omg, i didn't know that, that's amazing. to the more we get to know her, the more we hear about random sexual acts, the boyfriend thing, her self esteem, a lot of little things are adding up to be a lot of turmoil for us. we never were seeking a "unicorn" and i freaking hate that term, we were looking for a fun time, and in turn found an amazing woman that needs some guidance, and love.

i really don't like it when people assume that our expectations are too high, and that what we want is unrealistic. we don't know what exactly we are looking for, this may or may not work out with this woman, but its been a learning experience, so we know what to do next time, or what not to do. and for that im thankful, but you can go off and tell someone they have all these unrealistic expectations when you don't know the situation, or the people. everyone is new to poly at some point in their life, this is ours.
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  #18  
Old 12-10-2013, 05:24 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Yes, it's quite common for newly open couples to consider themselves a "unit," and want to share a third for fun times.

Sorry she's not the right girl for you.
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  #19  
Old 12-10-2013, 05:29 PM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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thanks, Magdlyn

hoping it works out one way or another. if not, theres other poly-wogs in the pond
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  #20  
Old 12-11-2013, 12:30 AM
hersweetleaf hersweetleaf is offline
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Default yayayayya!

I had to update!

we never watched walking dead the other day, remember we all were upstairs talking (yes, really talking!), so weve been antsy and didn't want to watch it without her because it became our thing to do.
so I sent her a message, saying we were planning on finally watching it tonight and if she wanted to join us.

she actually responded within 5 minutes with a YES! and asked what time. so now im frantically running around the house getting a messy mom, a messy toddler and a trashed house together and ready.

im kind of excited, and have a renewed sense of happiness, I hope it lasts.

so heres to spraying fabreeze all over the house, and myself!
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